My husband and I once took a cabin vacation long weekend in Vermont with the worst. Weather. Ever. Was impossible to do any of the outdoorsy stuff we planned, so we spent it mostly in the cabin banging and watching TV and baking cakes. There was a Golden Girls marathon on which I was like we must DEFINITELY watch. He…

I’ve been told that at boarding schools (at least in the mid 90s when the people who told me were there) it was considered, er, de rigeur for girls to get together in groups of four or five in a junior or senior girl’s room and watch gay porn on mute after hours. It just sounds so gruesomely joyless and mechanistic…

...“The part of me who is the teenager who came of age in Brooklyn started bubbling up”...

Part of me hoped Brad Pitt would get back with Aniston but not break up with Jolie and it became some kind of sister wives situation cause I feel like they need a spare parent.

Kate Bosworth, Sienna Miller, Blake Lively, Monica Potter, Gretchen Mol, Elizabeth Shue, Katherine Heigl, LeeLee Sobieski. And Chloe Sevigny. How can I forget Chloe.

i sure hope he learns her name before the wedding.

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani have asked Blac Chyna to be the egg donor.

I have feelings of horror when I think of never have I ever. I joined a sorority in college (I know, I know but everyone was doing it) and there was this sleepover for the pledges. And we played the most frightening game of never have I ever EVER. No one could think of things they hadn’t done after a couple of rounds…

• Kris Jenner is desperate to become a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills.

Knowing PETA, the funds raised would just go towards putting down more cats, dogs, and other former pets. Or maybe to pay the next actress to star in a shock value campaign.

I remember when she met with a bunch of dudebros from Long Island who wanted to secede from New York. That sealed my love for her in a real and deep way from that moment on.

Dear Popular Mechanics,

I am sorry, but fuck sloths. They have little to no survival instincts, they are useless to humans and they’re absolutely hideous. This goes for koalas and pandas, too. They, along with sloths, should be round up and gassed. Every one of them.

It’s why outside of NYC and Los Angeles, they don’t get real socialites.

all you need to accessorize is a cap and a fur coat

You know she didn’t hang that shirt on a wire hanger!

This is why I carry a bottle of Xanax!

I have a friend (really) who did 90 days in a Federal camp last year. She told her boyfriend that she was coming out on a Wednesday. She had me pick her up on Tuesday, take her to get her hair colored, eyebrows waxed, a facial and Botox. We stayed in a hotel near the camp that night. The next day she changed back into…

Slay!!! Jesus, she was perfect.

Leo story— Pre-titanic days: my friends and I kept meeting him out at all these clubs (we were all underage). He invited us to his friend Mike's house up Wonderland Ave. He and Mike were in the back of my car, and Leo piped up, "Dude, you know what I want to do tonight? I want to fuck!" These words singed my…