Blow shit up or GTFO!

“White Claw, huh [snickering]”

They really fucked it up this time, didn’t they my dear?

I believe the logical conclusion is that AB retires to become a helmet designer, and uses Lavar Ball’s manufacturing connections to go to market.  

I’m a little bit conflicted about this. While I agree this whole thing is a bad look for Jay-Z, I find it hard to side with either Eric Reid or Kaepernick completely.

“BACK HOME AGAAAAAAIIIIIIN....”

<finishes another fall/winter of life, alone, capped off by watching every minute of a 9-7 season>

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

I think I found the root of your problem

I grew up in Aurora and have been away for about 20 years, but visit often. I greatly appreciate what many of the transplants brought to Denver over this time (and especially immigrants from other countries - we’ve always needed diversity.) There’s a whole bunch of hipster tropes to fall on what with the scooters…

During every Lions home broadcast, the pan shots of the Lions crowd should be set to that Sarah McLachlan song they play during the abused animal commercial.

No more public offices can be held at the Congressional level after the age of 60.

He typed “John Bolton” into the search function and found a bunch of pictures of feckless Hawks.

A run-in with a Balrog will do that

I just wrote a letter to ten-year-old me saying that there would be a hockey playoff series featuring one team called the Sharks and another that looks like Boba Fett and I wouldn't care about either one. I can already feel myself fading away like Michael J. Fox in the third act of Back to the Future.

Okay, but... you understand that the whole movie is about how every single Avenger’s personal flaws led to Thanos’ triumph, right?

Every day for half a semester my roommate bombarded me with really lame, stupid puns. Every fucking day. Finally, in a chemistry class we had together, I told him to shut the fuck up.

“Nobody believed in us.”

Our cows in Minnesota are far too polite to fart.