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The NFL is so evil it turned Ray Rice into a sympathetic figure. The only logical outcome of this is that he signs with New England so everyone can go back to hating him.

I'm lucky, my parents and inlaws get along very well and we generally all just want to stuff ourselves, play with the babies and lie around watching movies. But my mother relates the Thanksgiving of 1961, when my great-grandmother came to dinner.

Pittsburgh: "Dude. DUDE. I just came up with the best idea."

"Sweet tomato pie, green bean asshole" Haven't laughed that hard in a long time. But I'm confused by the asterisk after the cop let the pooper off with a warning.

Happy Thanksgiving, Barry!

Oh for fuck's sake, Mormons.

Of course Oregon is vegan mushroom gravy.

Finally they recognize Skyline chili for what it is!

I just laughed myself to tears imagining the fast food restaurant equivalent of this:

These are all so good, and reminds of this time in Italy (here comes a customer perspective story):

I kept hearing this voice in my head as I read that one.

Waiter, *angrily*: "Well, maybe I will come to your country then. And eat all of your bread!"

Don't feel bad. With Simpson vs. California, the defense let the running back get away with murder.

Belichick: Can anyone get that dick Gray for me!?

Just to get out in front of anything that might happen during the game, league officials have stated that any player attempting a snow-related celebration will be flagged - and fined - for excessive Tauntaun.

I'm pretty sure I just watched the whole movie in that trailer

Tom, you actually missed the more impressive aspect of the highlight: J.R. Smith actually passed the ball.

I don't understand all this talk about throwing people under the bus. If you've ever seen RG3 play, you know he'd bounce them about 10 feet in front of the bus.

No, no, all the Raiders always play like that.