“OK people, our numbers are too high this week, so I’m going to need you to give 110% and piss off as many customers as you can. Lie about not having products, switch size labels, flat out refuse to “Go in back to see if you have it”

I think some people get this idea in their head that customer service people who don’t get them exactly what they want are just being lazy, like we have Everything in Every size in a back room somewhere but we just can’t be bothered to go and get it. This ignores the simple fact that standing there trying to tell…

Whenever that happens I’m just screaming in my head “OH MY GOD, IF I COULD DO THE THING OR GIVE YOU THE THING I WOULD DO IT INSTANTLY BECAUSE THAT WOULD GET YOU OUT OF MY FACE!”

This is the same country where otherwise sane people believe the moon landing was faked, Obama is Kenyan, vaccines cause autism, and our food supply is poisoned by corporations.

Why are customers always convinced people are lying to them? They have only one cup size, they aren’ trying to trick you for the fun of it. I one time had a customer, when I worked at the convenience store, swear up and down they paid for a money order with a credit card there just recently. The damn computers didn’t…

Having spent several years in food service, mostly hauling sizzling fajita plates around, I can honestly say I fantasized many, MANY times about dropping one of those plates in a customer’s lap. The difference, though, is that I DIDN’T. Jesus, lady.

Did you go get your own drinks from the bar, and food from the kitchen? No? Then the waiter has earned their tip. If you don’t want pay your share of a wait person’s wage then go to a fast food place, or eat in.

But we don’t need unions or collective bargaining or wage laws because each individual server can just use the vast power and leverage they hold to stop the managers from doing this sort of thing. Also I have a magic unicorn rabbit that shits skittles.

Let me just get the Pinkham’s Law out of the way, because I don’t see any yet and I’m SURE it’ll happen-

ARGLE BARGLE BUT RESTAURANT MANAGERS WORK HARD TOO AND NEVER GET TIPS DID YOU KNOW RESTARANT MONAGERS CARE ONLY ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF THE RESTESRAUNT AND ARE SELFLESS ANGELS TO WORK AS HARD AS THEY DO FOR THE…

It’s sad that the frequency of mass shootings has created this tradition among hospitals. No one is criticing the solidarity or camaraderie.

I NEVER THOUGHT PAYING IT FORWARD PIZZA WOULD MAKE ME CRY SAD TEARS BUT HERE I AM, CRYING. OVER PIZZA GENEROSITY, THE KINDEST GENEROSITY OF ALL.

Note: I am in no way defending either the letter writer or the responder from Uexpress. I think we can all agree they are both shitty people.

i hope he steps on a lego

Me too! In high school, I would watch my gym teacher and only run while she was looking, then the moment she looked away, I’d stop. I failed the mile fitness test every year. Now, 10 years later and 20 lbs heavier, I’m gearing up for my 2nd half marathon. Fitness =/= size. (even though losing the weight is my overall…

There’s a character in Starcraft 2 who says (in a deep southern accent) “Well butter my biscuit”, and I have only ever been able to hear it in an extremely sexual way. It helps that I love biscuits and butter.

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

I have it on very good authority from Strawberry Shortcake that Blueberry Muffin’s vagina* does, in fact, taste like blueberry.

I just know that at some point before I die I'm going to see a package of hamburger with a warning label "Contains meat." and it's going to be because of one of these idiots.

I know way too many people who were convinced they were getting that Cadillac.

I also think that fundamentally the capitalist system as practiced in America, with its hyperfocus on maximizing results at all costs, operates in concert with cultural stereotypes in a way that is detrimental to women. We teach boys to fight and women to compromise, and the capitalism we practice in this country…