So many great stories which I am glad to have not been there for!

Seconding jezbanned and giving you ‘sitting’ ovation (‘cause, lazy):)

Haha, thanks. Butter your muffin indeed!

I feel like we need to get the butter-boner together with the guy who fucked the bread dough. For science or something.

“just above the guy who dug a hole in a bag of butter and had his way with it before being caught in the act.”

Jesus. I’m quitting smoking, and I still don’t think I have the rage to hit a customer with a hammer. A roll of bread, maybe. I could probably snap and beat someone with a baguette, but a hammer?

Those are hepatitis causing viruses. Hepatitis comes from a myriad of causes, for example Alcoholic hepatitis is very common, autoimmune hepatitis has been known to occur. Also common is hepatitis from toxins for example pesticides as purported in this article and from bush teas.

I’m assuming it’s non-viral hepatitis. Run of the mill liver inflammation from making it filter all that crap non-stop.

Repeat after me, kids: “Herbal doesn’t mean safe.”

My mom frequently bought me boys costumes. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle one was the best by far. So, you *can*, but the issue is that little girls shouldn’t be getting the message that those things are for boys. They’re for everyone.

Allow me to complain about girl’s costumes too... my five-year-old daughter absolutely loves the cartoon Teen Titans Go. It is her favorite show by far. She’s constantly playing Teen Titans when she’s outside running around. She’s always Starfire, who is her favorite, I’m always Robin and my wife is always Raven. She…

This was super important for me. I’ve been going to the gym relatively consistently for 2 years now, with seeing a trainer once a week for the last year. I’ve not really lost any weight (and I’m not overweight, the extra is just in places I don’t like- darn you tummy!).

Getting fit is very hard, but people conflate the fact that it is simple (conceptually) with being easy. Eat better, move more! So easy! No, that’s simple. Executing this on a daily consistent and ultimately permanent basis is hard as hell to do if you’ve spent most of your life developing myriad bad habits.

Well you see, when the hippies get exposed to Hep A, it directly affects them because they’re both preparing and eating the food. The company executives who make the decisions that lead to managers not giving a shit and forcing sick staff to work, they damn well don’t eat fast food burgers. It’s just like the oil…

HE’S THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON WHO PRONOUNCES IT THAT WAY, NO IT ISN’T LEGIT.

“HEP HEP NOT HOORAY”

Like they would know what it looked like. PLEASE FOOLS you can’t even find the clitoris.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the politics and ethics of pedigree breeding lately. I just started volunteering at a local animal shelter and the weird obsession people have with breeds is difficult to accept. It’s one of the first questions people ask, and they’re not looking for breed-specific illnesses or genetic…

You know, one day I’ll be mature enough not to giggle for thirty seconds about the couple fighting over their Dog’s sperm being named the Wangsnesses.

Once, as a teenager, I worked for a couple hours as a favor to my friend’s dad, handing out free samples of this really terrible energy bar at Costco. People will eat literally anything if it’s free and in a small accordion paper cup. This bar tasted like dirt rubbed in poo with some raisins in for a hellish texture…