They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

You know what’s a good time for breaking out the sacrilege? A funeral!

My brother (Jewish) was dating a Catholic girl with a lovely and welcoming family. They invited him to Easter, where they customarily served ham. But they wanted to be accommodating to his beliefs (not that it matter because he was not observant and did not keep kosher, but they didn’t know that). So, when the whole…

You’d have better luck getting a serious class on sex education in US public schools than a workers’ rights one. And you’d probably have better luck lobbying for every student to have a unicorn that poops chocolate and pisses rainbows than getting either of those classes.

I was on an Honor Guard team in my first assignment in the early 2000s. At the time I was serving in the detail we were stationed in Florida, but we handled funerals for the veteran population for a few hours all around in between the bases/posts. The first funeral I had been was an active duty funeral, gut wrenching,…

Holy Mother of Dog — where to start? I am from the south.

TL:DR: My family cause scenes at cousin’s funeral, a 14 year old girl stops a riot, and family gets banned from Funeral Parlour.

Oh GOD, I’ve just remembered the one my sister told me about the boy she had a crush on at High School. Bear with me, it’s a long one. It’s also a wee bit painful.

Shortly after I moved to Atlanta, one of my co-worker’s daughters got pregnant at age 16 and somehow managed to have an abortion without parental knowledge or consent.

(this is in kenya) One of my great aunts was to be buried in the family grave yard which was deep in the countryside, hours away from town. Because she was held in high esteem by the church, they organized everything. we were in the countryside, and cars were parked literally in the woods and unbeknownst to everybody,…

I’ve been to three funerals in my life, but my great grandmother’s funeral when I was seventeen has to be the weirdest/most uncomfortable one of them all.

Having experienced both, Jersey’s not even close. It’s like the difference between Yoko Ono and John Wayne Gacy. New Jersey is Yoko - tries too hard, is infuriating, and always gets shit for what they’re not to blame for (okay, and some that they are to blame for). Florida is Gacy - psychotic, dangerous, frequently…

When my ex-wife’s grandmother died, I insisted on being supportive and flying to Ireland with her. I was not aware that she was in the middle of yet another affair and our marriage would not last many more months.

I was about ten, and my mom’s best friend’s mother died. She was a miserable old bitch, best pictured as a cross between Tony Soprano’s mom and Mrs. Burn’s mom. Just awful and did nothing but spew hatred at everyone.

After being dead for 18 years, my father in law still has a stalker.

There were two lamps at either end of my grandmother’s coffin. During the visitation, one of the creepy (red) light bulbs burst, showering her body with shards of red glass. The entire family gathered around and spent the next half hour picking tiny pieces of glass off her body, out of her hair, out of the folds of…

Alright, I obviously was not there, but this is one of the best funeral/memorial stories I’ve heard to date:

I read this story and my first thought was “why do some people in Oklahoma make it so embarrassing to live in Oklahoma?”

How about a hat-tip to The Lost Ogle, the local Oklahoma blog that first reported the story?

NOPE. This is awesome. I want more. This is some legitimate Okie shit.