yoga nerd, it’s very fucking disrespectful of you to suggest people use the Kondo method so close to Pearl Harbor Day, my parents were WWII babees

This is just like one of those Esther Williams musicals.

Zombies are more appropriate for Easter decorating, I think.

First off, being serious I hope Michael is ok and is found unharmed.

So avoid Chinese food because the Japanese attacked us once. That’s some good confused racism.

An alternate headline for this piece could be, “Is My Weird Lust for Tom Hiddleston Clouding My Judgment, Oh God”

British people shouldn’t be allowed to play country music superstars this is my most closely held belief

Um, why aren’t more people outraged over her posing in a wheelchair? I know ableism is pretty fucking rampant in life, but this is low even for the Kardashian/Jenner clan.

A sex doll. How thought-provoking and imaginative.

That bugs the crap out of me, too. Same with sitting on counters. Or, worst of all, sitting with your FEET ON THE COUNTER. YOU ARE RICH BUY SOME MANNERS OR SOMETHING, DAMN.

That photo looks like a promo still for a horror movie.

Dean watched as Sam clicked quickly through the website. Watching as the screen struggled to load.

I’d read 800 days of Tom Cruise not seeing Suri.

Comic Sans is a little too dignified for the subject matter.

Seriously. In this age of bathroom selfies, you’d think Windex would be the billion-dollar business.

The Kardashians don’t know how to give thanks, just things. You know, people with money...

You know, my other grandma just gives me money.

But I didn’t even ASK for it, grandma! Stop trying to make me feel guilty!

Naw, Bernie knows how the political game works. He's been playing it his whole life. He's been careful not to go too harsh on Hilary, for example, because he doesn't want to do permanent damage to her campaign. His supporters want him to be a Nader, and are now talking about write in campaigns, but Bernie the man…

And I’ll take Miss Stevie Nicks over any of these shills.