Lemme guess: you’re not a wedding planner in your day job?

Kanye is responsible for what, a quarter of all roses used by the flower industry per year? A third? Half?

You could have just said no instead of posting my heartfelt missive on the internet.

I agree there are some problems with calling him “cool pope” and gushing over everything he does. But is there a epithet that would better sum up…

I’ve found room for both.

Guys, I’m like, so broken up that I won’t be able to marry an angry misogynist.

No. Not really. Not at all. And I’m saying that as someone who definitely is not supporting Clinton in the primary. First, as I understand it, all of the investigations are being requested by Republican officials. Independent probes already have cleared Clinton multiple times. It isn’t that it’s one long thing being…

“I’m just being me.”

“Can I buy that lipstick?” “Sure, I’ll put it on your bill”

Maybe it’s how depressing this day has been, but I have been laughing uncontrollably over “than he has ever Depped before.”

These kinds of pieces come up from time to time and they always miss the most important part: teach your kids to ask what someone wants to be called, then call them that. They prefer Mrs. Snoghorn you call them Mrs. Snoghorn. They prefer Fat Amy, you call them Fat Amy. True etiquette is not calling someone something…

Southerner here. So yeah it’s Ms. This and Mr. That or Sir or Ma’am. That’s just the way it is. Not creepy at all.

To be fair, few of the Republican presidential candidates seem to understand our system of government, either.

239 Republicans and two democrats voted in favor of defunding, while three Republicans and 179 Democrats voted against it.

This is such a fucking waste of time. It’s not going to pass the Senate and they know it. They’re just posturing for their fan base of rabid idiots.

He went too far when he went method on his Hunter S Thompson roles...

he’s not 25 and beautiful anymore. he needs to come to terms with that.

This is what’s wrong with America right here. This. Not Bristol Palin herself, but what she represents — the fact that so many stunningly, proudly pig-ignorant, determinedly undereducated, information-resistant people think they know enough about anything to tell others how they should think and behave.

As if the Palin clan has ever cared about less racial strife, or any strife at all. Their bread and butter is shit stirring.

The only people who worry about putting bumper stickers on Bentley’s are people who have to return them when the lease is up, Kimmy.