Yeah but now his suspension is in doubt and somewhere in the 16th Court of Appeals. Really fucking sucks for my Fantasy Commissioner League.

In a fit of confused rage, Roger Goodell has suspended himself for 5 games.

Nah, Jerry Jones is clearly the one to root for here. He’s a doofus and he’s obnoxious, but he’s better than Goodell by a long shot. Hell, I’m a Giants fan, and even I can admit that I’d take Jones over Goodell any day. To complete your analogy, ketchup on steak is weird and far from ideal, but it isn’t an abomination…

*checks to make sure this isn’t Literotica.com*

Always stings when they remind you that you’re just part of the help.

Lucky for him, it becomes guaranteed when the owners put him on the Intellectually Unable to Perform (IUP) list.