True story. It was the summer of 2000? 2002? I can't recall exactly. I grew up in Indiana. We had no cable. My mother claimed it was because cable didn't come to our house. I learned years later it did - she was just being a jerk face. Regardless, that summer, my friends and I really, really, wanted to watch…

Holy shit! Gym mats. I totally remember those.

Right, I can wear dresses every day, put on makeup, adore my boyfriend, make him dinner, appreciate the compliments he gives me and still fight to change inequality.

As a heterosexual, married male, I must offer two responses to this article:

First, the positive: Thank you for the laugh. This was one of the most insightful, witty, cutting articles I've read in a long time—and it had me howling, until...

Second, the negative: I have realized I know far too many men—and far too many…

A young philosopher by the name of Alicia Keys described the great city of New York as a "concrete jungle where dreams are made of." Confusing grammar aside, she was right. New York is the place to make your greatest dreams come true.

Our Exotic Shorthair, Colonel Mustard, loves the iPad. When he sees it he immediately starts purring and batting at it. Whether you're using it or not. If you want to see some really silly pics of him using it he's on Instagram under officialmustard. This is my favorite.

Captain Crank's salty cow bacon with brontosaurs chimichangas.

My wife and I, rather than having our own biological children, became foster parents and then adopted our three kids out of foster care. To say it has transformed our lives for the better would be an understatement. Don't let people who don't know what they're talking about discourage you. It cost us nothing. Our…

"The term "manic pixie dream girl" has become so embedded into our cultural lexicon"

In-N-Out forever. Except too bad their fries are literally the saddest fries in existence. But you cannot beat their burgers. A truly dedicated person would get an In-N-Out burger, McDonald's fries, and a Wendy's chocolate Frosty for the ultimate fast food triumvirate.

Imagine the highest-charting reggaeton jam you can think of, and replace all the instrumentation, except the tooth-rattling bass, with that farty MIDI trumpet sound from entry-level Casio keyboards.

A history of every roommate I've ever had:

The best thing about aging is that the older I get, the fewer fucks I give about the opinions of dickwads like these.

What my fridge contains: Five Fage Total yogurts, carrots, bacon, kale, red leaf lettuce, collard greens, curly parsley, Kerrygold butter, milk, leftover pepper steak, leftover chicken soup, leftover brown rice, six brown eggs, a dozen little bottles of Fevertree ginger ale, a pound of little red potatoes, some weird…

This is why you just use Dr. Bronner's for EVERYTHING and tell Procter & Gamble to go fuck themselves.

transplant this, muthertruckers.

Disagree. I can easily distinguish Creed, Nickelback, and the Black Eyed Peas when I start to hear one of their songs, and that's an immediate cue to turn the radio off or change the channel.

Maroon 5 has awesome music that doesn't sound like anything else on the radio.

I also was 12 when the Lion King came out, but I love the shit out of this movie. It also gave me tingly feelings for Jeremy Irons. Dat voice. NOTHING YOU SAY CAN RUIN IT FOR ME, LINDY.