What, no Cylon love? No love for the Sixes - all played by Tricia Helfer (who somehow managed to make each iteration - even the background-Sixes - her own person) and especially not even for everyone’s seductive genocidal fembot, aka Caprica Six? For shame, millennial author, for shame (though, you can keep your tatty…

Ah, Outback Steakhouse. The restaurant chain that appropriates Australian culture and cuisine by a pack of dickheads who never even visited Australia. How...American. Now, watch this video of Actual Australians assassinating American arsefuckwittery (and amaze at an Aussie altering a fork attempting to pierce a…

Maybe it’s not a vape.  Maybe it’s the last remnants of her fisted soul fleeing her body?

“Do you know who I am?”

Oh, and by the way - when I mean “legal”, I don’t mean when she turned 21. Here in the UK you’re legally an adult at different ages - in Scotland, for example, you’re legally an adult at sixteen. Eighteen’s the big year - that’s when you’re able to do all the adult crap (including getting shit-faced in the pub. She…

What I remember about the Winslet fat-shaming was that the most vicious articles about her “fat” body (if you think Winslet was “fat” in Titanic then you clearly have never seen a woman naked before and you clearly live on a diet of twigs and squirrel shit) were written...by women.  Hell hath no fury like a…

Ah, yes, the Ticking Clock. The one I always remember - and being fucking horrified by it - was the one for Emma Watson. This was a young woman who first came to everyone’s attention aged eleven.  She was twenty one when the last of that interminable franchise wound up.  And when she became “legal”, you’d have thought…

The fact that Massive Attack’s not on this list tells me that a Millennial Yank compiled this list. Petals.

Suchet was brilliant as Poirot. And - somewhat hilariously - the ITV series was one of the few that kept Poirot in the original timeframe and settings. And the theme tune is iconic - as was the title sequence. (BTW, in case anyone wants a taste of how good Suchet was at playing the little Belgian detective, here’s an…

But - (serious news face) - do we know if they do a Pumpkin Spice because we all know your bog-standard tubby basic ain’t gonna ditch Starfucks unless the Karen of all coffee “flavours” is available.

So if Timotei Shalamalabingbong’s been exploring the well-travelled expanse that is Kylie “I’m the lesser of the Kylies and you know it” Jenner, have we checked to see if he’s had his shots?  

My favourite adaptation is the BBC’s 2015 adaptation of And Then There Were None. It was remarkable at the time - it got the look right (too often too many 1920s-30s-set series and shows think it’s all about glitter and glamour), it got the music right and it got the mood right. Modern-day adaptations often look at…

Joe, my little Christian purity-ring-hawking fuckboi - you’re asking us to not believe the woman who portrayed a beloved character who was married off to a sequence of hateful bastards (and who eventually became Queen of the North, which we all agree was the right choice in that shitshow of a series finale) over the…

At the boat-show?

Alison Hammond is an absolute gem of a woman.  She’s wonderful to watch.

A stroke, you say?  I think that’s what the “author” of this piece had whilst “brainstorming” ideas.  I bet there was lots of pastel-coloured post-its and a few ethically-sourced succulents involved too.

Every Millennial working at Starbucks and Sephora should aspire to his standard.

Thanks for doing what the tit who wrote this “article” clearly lacked the brains to do.  Take your star!

Strut - not walk, not run - away from the wee man, Sophie (and look fabulous when doing it too). You should always consider someone who endorsed purity rings as a major red flag in any relationship, people.

Eh, I’ll stick to Glastonbury, ta. At least we can handle a bit of torrential rain (even if it turns the site into a sewage-filled pit of half-naked idiots)...