I guess the ride just wasn’t electrifying enough.

The Entirety of New England all the time:

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

Thanks, Kate! And thanks, Laurie, for one weird date!

This will probably stay in the grays forever, but I hope not. I was set up by a friend in college to go out with her sorority sister. Upon arrival, I gave my date a gift of potpourri - scented leaves, flowers, wood shavings in a small box. The meal itself was forgettable, but we had a nice time at Griffith Observatory…

You are technically correct, sir, which, as we all know, is the best kind of correct.

Is it unique and cool in some way? Sure. Is it remotely reasonable to consider as a reliable, relatively affordable year-round daily driver? Not a chance.

If he just wants a cool hobby car to start conversation and drive to the airport once in a while, great, but that’s not at all what he asked for.

I mean, couldn’t *one* of you have given him a reasonable answer?  The only non-troll answer is the Acadia, and he literally said he had no use for an SUV.  I get that there’s a comedy element, but I thought there were supposed to be a few helpful suggestions?

@Kristen
You are showing amazing restraint by not gloating.

This is tantamount to David Tracy buying a fully functional rust free vehicle.

Yeah, for a proper Torchinsky article their needs to be a part where the buses are charged by pedal powered generators at each seat that convert childhood obesity into electricity.

You okay Torch? This idea is quite logical, practical, and very doable... somewhat atypical for a guy who posits electric eels as range extenders.

They’re not saying that? He’s the most punch-able one they’ve gotten in a while.  I get the urge to ball my hand into a fist every time he comes on the screen.  

Is smoking a petty reason to rule someone out? My dad died of lung cancer.

This one is easy: Treating servers\retail people\delivery people...anybody who serves the public...like personal servants to be insulted and abused. I don’t care how nice you may be to me. If you can’t treat another human being who is doing an often thankless job with common decency, that to me signals a serious…

Me:

Ya know what takes even more effort than telling your kid no? Actually discussing internet safety protocols with them as soon as possible. These safety issues don’t magically go away when they become an adult. Everything you teach them will still be relevant when they become old enough (in your eyes) to get a smart…

Gonna guess you don’t have kids, so let me break it down

Maybe call a computer guy to take a look.

Jesus. With hobbies like this, I bet this guy is an extra virgin.