Internet: There will be a real life Pikachu Detective Movie.

My rule is you can start Christmas music whenever you want.  But the first time some jackass plays Simply Having a Wonderful Christmasstime, we're done for the year. 

Anything before noon on 12/24 is too early. Anything after the bars close in the early AM of 12/26 is too late. You get about 40 hours. I can avoid it for that long.

Always. It is always too early for saccharine bullshit music.

Seriously.

How do people run out of gas? Is it really that hard to pay attention to the gauge? And if the gauge doesn’t work shouldn’t you know about how many miles you can go before filling up? I mean, bar getting lost in the middle of no where with no gas stations for miles, this really shouldn’t ever happen. Ever.

Going a little fast there, buddy. Where’s the fire? *Points back at police officer’s car.

If my child stopped playing video games and started going to church, I would be very concerned.

“Alexa, how do I tell my racist brother-in-law to go fuck himself without ruining Thanksgiving dinner?”

I turned 30 this year and while I don’t feel ‘old’ per say, I am definitely not ‘young’ anymore. I guess we can split the difference and call it ‘Adult’.

You’re 30 and consider that “ getting old?”

They belong to an LGBT-hating church and have refused to disavow said homophobia. FUCK THEM.

They sell full sized Mr Goodbars at my company’s corner store.  It’s the first time in my life I’d ever seen one.  No idea how long they’ve been sitting on that shelf though.

It’s also ridiculously stale and awful tasting when you do. I seriously didn’t think I liked marshmallows in anything but hot chocolate growing up. I made them myself once (following Alton Brown’s recipe) and they tasted completely different and I was hooked. Like others have said, if you have a good candy thermometer…

They really are simple. I make them multiple times a year because of that episode. The messiest part was the confectioner’s sugar. I also change corn syrup to 100% real maple syrup for better flavors, plus I usually have that and not corn syrup just laying around.

I like To Kill a Mockingbird as a safe, distinctly American choice. Without diving into more commercialized franchise-friendly fare, it’s digestible and ubiquitous. It’s classic literature without being too stuffy, and it still says something quaint about our identity as a nation. Like Counting Crows, it’s not…

Fresh marshmallows aren’t really that hard if you’re just making squares of them.  It can come together pretty quickly.

Alton Brown is clearly insane but, like, in the best possible way. 

I watched Alton Brown whip up some fresh marshmallows for some recipe, it looked so effortless.

Nintendo 3DS: “Daddy’s Big Little Nintendo”