"Revenge is a dish best served cold."—Jane Austen/Klingon Proverb

I'm just going to assume that the transition from talking about the self-help book "You Can Have It All" to a "flailing gossip blog" means the blog must be titled "My Empire of Dirt."

Man, Disney loves middle aged white guys in baseball hats, don't they?

Of course it can! Dads love Cheap Trick!

"Tickets for Dunkirk come with a free copy of Bruce Springsteen's autobiography and a moderately-priced six-pack of beer or Trader Joe's Wine!"

"Are you the only doctor who can heal these men's wounds?"
"Yes, the only one"
(Hardy snaps doctor's neck)
"Poor sport that, Brigadier Bane. We quite needed that chap."

Allison Brie as Gadget!
Russell Crowe as Monterey Jack!

"Hey Kev, this is your agent. We got a call from Disney about doing the crows from Dumbo. Just wanted to check to make sure you didn't feel there would be any problem with that? As long as the money is green you don't care? That's why I love you, Kev!"

It sounds like it was written by a high school kid who just discovered alliteration and received a thesaurus for their birthday.

I'll hold out for the ASMR version of that, thank you.

Now do one with his "Ka-Chow"s from Cars!

Someone get me James Gunn and many millions of dollars to make a Teen Chewie/Teen Groot buddy cop comedy!

"Substitute Smoke Monster" is my favorite Locke & Key & Peele sketch.

That's the best script of Impy and Chimpy that I've ever read!

One of my favorite Onion pieces is when Hulk defended Ang Lee's movie and had suggestions for the next movie. I love that he mentioned David Gordon Green, who seemed like a ludicrous choice for a comic book movie at the time, but much less so after Pineapple Express and Your Highness.

HULK HAVE MOVIE IDEAS!!!!

Herring is out every Christmas for my family, both wine and cream sauces and there will be Scandinavian Hel to pay if there's not both. My mom apparently mainlined herring while she was pregnant, but I've never really warmed up to it. It's not lutefisk, but it just doesn't appeal to me.

Yeah, it makes sense from a cost standpoint. And many (Bird and Peterson especially) do great work. I just have to imagine it's hard for the Billy Wests, John Dimaggios and Tara Strongs to land those plum movie voice roles when big-name actors gobble up most of them now and then more get filled in house.

So many older horror movies don't always resonate with me. I can appreciate them, but their pace or their style just keeps me from loving them. I saw Night of the Living Dead for the first time in college and it hit as hard as anything I had ever seen in a horror film.

If you get Roberto Benigni as a funicular to sing "Funiculi, Funicula", count me in!