I’ve actually found the crackhead to be more helpful than police in most cases. 

Another day, another disappointment. Do better white people!

Where are the rules? I expected a slideshow, but I don’t see one... (never thought I’d be asking for a slideshow, but I just want to see the rules!)

It may be, but they don’t offer a burrito suiza (aka smothered burrito) at Taco Bell...

My neighborhood Taco Bell ex-manager Brenda would make me an enchirito after they were taken off the menu.
I was sad to see her go... 

May I please introduce you to Ice-T...

After I wrote that I realized I have no experience with that, so maybe there is some judgment... But I’ve found them to be pretty accommodating!

They’ll make it however you like. No judgment. 

I fucking love Jersey Mike’s! Shaved meat is my favorite for sandwiches and has always been my biggest complaint about franchise sandwich shops.

Bread is so often a non-essential part of the sandwiches I eat. 

I saw Manhattan at the time it came out, so I was already jaded about anything that came after, but I did watch Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex... a bunch of times on cable tv before that and thought it was funny. But I was a tween or younger at the time, so my humor was hardly advanced.

Meh, I’ve found him creepy since watching Manhattan as a 13 year old girl.

I grow my own cucumbers and sometimes they’re bitter. Unfortunately, I can never figure out how to tell or what I’m doing differently with those ones compared to the ones that aren’t bitter.

As an American I have about as much respect for Tom Brady and football as I do for the monarchy.
Which is to say - not a lot.

Ahhhh, that good old American spirit that saw this nonsense for what it was a couple of centuries ago and left the damn place! Sounds pretty smart. 

My hair looks so much better 2 days after a washing! I hate it when it’s freshly washed. 

Well then you shouldn’t wear them. 

I’m sorry for your feet. 

I happen to be rocking that look right now! And I’m also wearing sweatpants - at work!

You will pry my husband’s denim shirt off his cold, dead body. And I think he looks smoking hot in it!