She’s hot AND funny, and to be that funny you’ve got to be smart, so she’s smart as a whip, too. It’s not fair that she won’t return my calls......or respond to the pictures I’ve been drawing for her.

I’ve noticed that a lot of the comments are all, "a deodorant commercial can normally bring me to tears, but I didn't cry at my wedding" or, "I haven't cried since 2006 but I bawled at my wedding." Weird!

I’m seriously choking right now trying to muffle my laughter at the too-small dog comment.

You could be surprised. My husband and I both cry really easily, but we did not cry at all at our wedding. I have been known to cry over commercials, and my husband cries over every birthday gift I give him.

And no goddamn kids. That’s the big one.

This might be an unpopular opinion but I think I’m okay with them basing approval on the behavior of the kid. Like, if I’m going to pay an exorbitant amount (I’m not) to live in a trendy place (I won’t), I wouldn’t want to have the vibe and atmosphere ruined by awful children.
It’s apparently illegal so they shouldn’t…

I cried last night looking at kittens on PetFinder. I just can’t stand that there are so many lonely kittens!

.... I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to be invited to a wedding more than I do to yours.

Oh, but you (I think it was you?) once wrote that thing (for the Hairpin maybe?) about finding signature jewelry, and it was amazing, and you should maybe write something like that again for Millihelen!?

And now I’m a freelancer making roughly half of what I did before, and I am SO VERY MUCH HAPPIER.

In Soviet Russia, server hit on you.

I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life.

Points: Security would talk to anyone crawling around the mall on their hands and knees and tell them they had to stop- they’re afraid of a lawsuit which is why they also won’t let you walk barefoot. Whether this is sexual play for them or not, everyone will read it as sexual kink play that they are being forced to…

It reminds me of a letter to Dan Savage I once read where someone hired a housecleaning service, only to have a couple show up. The man handed over a note that said something like, “this woman is my mistress and I am her slave, don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, I’m here to do your bidding” or something like that and…

But no one else in the mall consented to be part of their play, and at least in the parts of the kink subculture I’ve been in, that’s Not Okay.

It’s a kink. I’ve been in that woman’s position before, happily. But everyone involved IS NOT consenting and happy, because they’ve included everyone in the mall in their puppy-play. And those people did not consent to be part of their scene.

I don’t think that this is degrading to women or that kink is harmful or whatever. BUT. This isn’t entirely consensual kink.

As a kinky person who’s been on precisely that end of a collar and leash, fuck off. That’s rude. Don’t do that in public. It may be consensual on her part, but this is not any different structurally than some dude jerking off on the subway—they’re getting off on the presence of innocent bystanders who have NOT…