No one in this story got shot, eaten by an alligator, or busted for methamphetamine distribution, so I fail to see how this is the quintessential Florida story.

An interesting scheme...that has never resulted in profits for the city in question. Publicly financing a billionaire’s toys is not in a municipalities best interests.

There is some humor to the idea that Simmons’ schtick is tired on Deadspins 9846th post about how awful he supposedly is.

Deadspin’s whole schtick is about being one giant prickly asshole so of course you have a problem with someone else who is.

Modern?

What’s funny is, had he done this in a Cardinals uniform last year, the tone of this post would be remarkably different.

This is a bunch of horseshit.

My face is going to age gracefully like a well-worn baseball glove. Like Robert Redford. I’m pretty sure he’d drink Bay Rum before putting any of this nonsense on his face.

Look. I’m all for disbanding Penn State football but fuck the NCAA. They should have absolutely no role in this whatsoever. They have less than zero moral (or legal) authority. It’s on Penn State to do it. Or the schools in their schedule to refuse to play them. For everyone outside the Big 10 to refuse to schedule…

Never wish rape on anyone. It doesn’t make his crimes go away and its something no human should experience. Rape isn’t part of the prison sentence

I’ve always viewed the harmonica as the equivalent of a Christina Aguilera’s singing - it’s perfectly fine when restrained, but lord help us when the confidence kicks in and the oversinging starts.

Bill Bellichek “I had nothing to do with his twitter account being hacked, but we are glad he dropped to where we could draft him. Also I think everyone is glad Goodell ordered Twitter destroyed after viewing the evidence.”

“Bandwagon fan” would imply that he didn’t find interest in the team until they started winning. Since he clearly was posting out of sheer interest and fascination of the sport (regardless that his team won in the end), it negates that comment entirely.

I will gladly take a blues bandwagon fan if it kills a couple thousand bandwagon blackhawk fans.

No, Blackhawks fans are the worst because they’re all bandwagoners.

I had no idea there was a Blues bandwagon. These fans... have seen things.

Just pretend like it’s the mid-2000s when you weren’t a Blackhawks fan and the pain will go away.

‘Yoffs? Don't be that guy.

Painful.

Thank God.

Curt Schilling is doing a public service. Not all of us have an alcoholic uncle with an eighth-grade education who never traveled 20 miles beyond the town of his birth, yet are completely knowledgeable about the state of the nation, and indeed, the world. I suggest we all save a lot of time and simply refer to him as…