"Let me go, let me GOOO- Don't kidnap me anymore!"

I went to a Carl's Jr drive-thru for the first time last week specifically to order the Western Extra Bacon Burger, because apparently it's the manliest of burgers and I wanted to challenge the status quo. But when the intercom voice asked me if I wanted the "single, double, or thickburger?" I got so flustered all I…

Remember the BK Enormous Omelet Sandwich? An old boss caught a coworker eating one and told him if he died after eating it, they wouldn't honor the life insurance policy. I'm not sure which was funnier, the guy turning red in embarrassment, or my boss's commitment to his deadpan schtick. Long story short, the guy…

I am very fascinated and horrified by this...

I think if you eat enough triple baconators, you just BECOME your own small country. #fatshaming

Does their MRS degree include classes on balancing a checkbook? Because I can't seem to wrap my brain around that pesky difference between "debit" and "credit." My fiance is just up to HERE with my spending, and he said he might not marry me if I couldn't learn to do basic math. (Isn't that something he should be…

BayPath College: the best way to get a head.

Soooo...we 're all in agreement she wrote "J. Phoenix" because she doesn't know how to spell Joaquin, right?

When I worked there my older brother was going through a divorce because his wife had cheated on him with like 5 guys. For some reason she came through the drive through. I took her order and walked to the grill. I knew the guy making her food had a crush on me so I told him to make that one extra special. To this day…

I feel horrified but I want to applaud you... so conflicted.

One of them's Steve Elkington, but I've never seen the other two.

I vow that when my son is a teenager, he will hate me. He will think I am unfair. He will think I am paranoid. I will not let him be a regular teenager. I am going to save him from this.

i am really tired of having to say this, but let's try again:

Not only is there a death penalty, but electrocution is still an option.

Thank you for mentioning this! The autobiography is titled 'What Falls Away' and several reviews mention the court documents. I've just ordered a used copy on Amazon to see them for myself.

Yes. Maybe just one day a week can be Bieber free? Please? Don't care which day of the week it is.

Obviously, the recent shenanigans are for attention, but can we go a day without hearing about this kid's fuckery?

What was he in the hospital for? Complications due to antifreeze poisoning?!

I can tell you the sign says "bitter." Apparently everyone takes shots of vodka and then chants "Bitter!" until the couple kisses for as long as possible to remove the bitter taste of alcohol...and then they turn into uncooked chickens in doll clothes. So.

Agreed. "Weird" is a very relative term. But Jezebel is US-centric so that sort of relativism can get lost.