Women’s outdoor 1500m world record: 3:50.07

No, bro, that honor belongs to you and all the other morons who have never been an athlete and played with or against ladies.

I find this very relatable.

Can we discuss how one saves his virginity for a second marriage?

I live in Detroit and am a Detroit Lions fan, but I have followed Peyton Manning and whatever team hes been on his entire career because I needed to see at least one team I like win on occasion. Now he’s retired who should I go with as my secondary team?

I kinda wish there was a mega-billionaire on the opposite end of the crazy spectrum who just threw money at stopping other billionaires from doing asshattery like this.

Juan man, can’t jump

Trump will make Mexico pay to remake it

Didn’t they make a movie about that once with Woody Harrelson?

Make White Jumpers Great Again

Oh my god. Honestly I’m pretty glad I graduated college before Tumblr was a thing...

If you don’t get into a fight at your child’s little league game, you’re not a good dad.

Every car I’ve ever owned has had reverse where it belongs: between P and N. You can keep your Flintstones cars.

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot Harambe

Harambe worked for the Cincinnati Zoo too.

Gawker is being shut down today.

Don’t be sad. Harambe would've wanted it this way. He loved low hanging fruit.

These people are running it into the ground. Talk about beating a dead gorilla.

Don’t even think about taking my beloved Lions! I need an excuse to wander around Detroit and get very drunk on Sundays

Bills tailgates are what happens when you let wildlings travel south of the wall. I would have stabbed Jon Snow too.