Sex for her is once every four years for 12 seconds.

So...

You get paid? Dammit. I knew i was doing it wrong.

At least ill know what religion guys are now.

The name of his boat: Adnan Syed

Looks like shes fucking FSU right in the pussy.

Dad???

Read this as, "Yes, he did a lot of J.J. Watt things... knocked down a pass, generated a team-high five."

Hasa Diga Eebowai

There can only be one buttfumbler

The American translation of "In Flaners Fields":

I bet his dadwill get him off.

After all those times the Steelers forced themselves on others, its about time someone gave them a pounding in the ass.

or struggling to get out of a leather couch.

Promises to smoothly make the transition from punching players to punching wives.

RIP Scorch. The only burn I have now is when I pee. (Sniff)

Mmmm boring commentators and an intern in Rock Hill, SC having a 140 character debate on the merits of student athlete rights make me wet.

All this news of a football program collapsing makes you wanna do the shmoney dance, Harlem Shake and Heisman pose after a TD. Jameis fucked that article right in the pussy

He'll fit right in at Penn State

(Insert Glory hole joke here)