Seriously, Jezebel Snark™️ is a great way to get clicks and lulz, but maybe not the best way to get a comment from someone? Just a thought?  

Did you really expect Singal or their reps to speak with you given the way you approached the matter?

TRIGGER WARNING NEXT TIME, PLZ.

to quote a lunatic: “what do you think tap water is, it’s a gay bomb, baby”

I am going to get *so* much mileage out of that gif. (Thanks, Bobby!)

Space junk just booked an appointment at a tanning salon.

That is the strongest statement that I have EVER seen a business put out, especially considering they are a sporting goods store which ties directly into the outdoors culture. This made me tear up. I’m sure they’ve run the numbers and realized just how devastating this statement could be, but they did it anyway. What…

I hate drinking water too. I don’t know why, it’s just unappealing. So I drink it cold, with a straw and a slice of orange or lemon or lime in it. I would still rather drink anything else, though.

#TeamNoOne

Wait, they can’t just sign another release?

I really hope Annie makes it. Sweet dreams are made of this!

It feels a lot like, “im pretty pissed and kind of legally hamstrung tbhbut CBS recognized they could make some ratings bank off of this so this is pretty much the best deal i could get out of it and here i am”

Charlie Murphy walks up to the Pearly Gates and as he enters, feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and take a blow to the forehead.

this is not a banner week for competitive eating...

Thank god. Now, can we somehow delete this photo off the interwebs? It’s causing me nightmares.

+1 ew

“Wikileaks” indeed.

They had to wait for someone to leak it.

In California, People v. Anderson permanently commuted all capital sentences received prior to 1972 to life with the possibility of parole. Life without parole wasn’t on the books at that point, so it couldn’t be used.