I also promise not to flush my kittens (even when they’re trying their best to drive me absolutely bonkers.)

My brother’s dog learned how to lift the toilet lid with his snout to get to the water! They had to put these weird child lock thingies in all the bathrooms

No. No she does not.

Does your dog promise not to drink toilet water? I’d give a few bucks if mine could make such a promise.

I promise not to try to flush my 65lb. dog down an airport toilet.

“We’re letting you go. But the dog can stay.”

Yeah, that all pisses me off, too. Especially because it both trivializes and further prejudices people to those with real and legitimate disabilities/disorders. I have PTSD (real, unfortunately) and my treatment team suggested that I get a service dog last year after being hospitalized for my eating disorder to help…

Nope, an ESA is useless if the person has no bond to it and is willing to kill it when it becomes a minor inconvenience. People who genuinely require an ESA to function by and large are extremely bonded to their given animal and killing it is the last thing they’d do.

But it wouldn’t just be decreased inhibition and increased suggestibility. It would have to also be a severe disregard for animal life,  vastly decreased problem solving skills, and an inability to make competent decisions while caring for a pet.

Except saying “don’t drink at all” is sound science because it’s an application of the precautionary principle, which is, you know, good science. It’s saying “Scientifically, we cannot pinpoint when alcohol consumption becomes problematic or becomes likely to result in fetal damage, so the precautionary principle…

Keep in mind that child mortality rates were very high in those days. FAS children probably were more likely to die before adulthood than were non-FAS ones.

I wish they would stop with the popcorn. It’s so bad, and so overpriced. They should just have them panhandle.

It’s Philly. There’s going to be a riot either way.

It’s really the opposite of a Sophie’s choice. No matter who wins, you can be happy the other team loses. So, like a Sophie’s choice where she hates both her children.

yeah man the pats were totally gonna coast through this game until some dumb columnist brought up the double murderer they used to employ now they’ll probly try.

“You know sometimes you eat chicken and you get food poisoning, and then even the site of chicken makes you sick. Tammy One is my blonde chicken.”

“It was only two words but probably fucked her up worse than any two words in her life with the possible exception of “black President.””

GODDAMN. 

I subscribe to the Ron Swanson school of thought that all women named Tammy are evil.

My personal philosophy on pedophilia is that we should be encouraging policies that lower the number of kids rapes, and not focus so much on retribution. I’m not saying pedophiles shouldn’t be punished or jailed (they absolutely should), but:

I am not an expert of any kind in these field. But I have read that there are some treatment programmes that are at least somewhat effective in reducing reoffending. Not changing someone’s sexual orientation as such - that’s very difficult or impossible - but helping them to manage their urges and exist in society…