The price of oranges here in the Midwest out of season would make a glass cost about $5 plus all the effort of squeezing.

Not from concentrate isn’t real oj either. Flavor has to be added back in after the juice is sterilized. https://consumerist.com/2011/07/29/oj-…

Bless Leslie Jones for saying what we’re all thinking: “He’s hot.”

Also, I need need him and Channing Tatum do an action comedy together. Or have Hemsworth show up in 23 Jump Street. Maybe as an a henchman who everyone thinks is dumb as a bag of rocks but turns out to be a genius who just a trope of Obfuscating Stupidity.

More of this please! I want an entire movie of just this. Chris Hemsworth as Fucking Hot Space Guy who doesn’t understand (or straight up ignores) Earth norms is magical. And I loved his What are Infinity Stones wall chart.

Nah, because Chris Hemsworth has pretty everything.

When his Marvel contract is up, the superior Hemsworth bro should seriously focus on comedy. His timing is legit and he’s never afraid to get silly, which I can always appreciate (and in a hot dude, it’s a bonus). Seriously Hemsworth, comedy! Look into it!

Of course he should. If he didn't wear a shirt how could he take it off?

Yeah, I got that a few times when I was younger: “where did you learn how to do THAT?” I don’t know, at the whorehouse where I was working when you picked me? Fuck you.

Like, if you s—k d—k too good the first time, guys will be like, ‘Mmm I can’t make a wife of her because she s—ks d—k too good

I see your boxing, Aly Raisman and Nastia Liukin, and I raise you sitting on the couch, having just eaten two cupcakes at 430pm.

She’ll win handily, but a few percentage points down ballot could mean a world of difference in Congress.

those few percentage points mean the difference between the media branding it a whoopin’ and branding it a landslide. It’s worth it.

Right?! People keep saying “why doesn’t she do more speeches and interviews”. It's called letting him destroy himself people!

In my opinion, she is underrated as a comedic actress. She had great timing. I particularly love her in Some Like It Hot.

Marilyn had talent, Kanye. Sit the fuck down, clown.

I would use the bus for an epic rolling party/orgy then drive it into the ocean at the end of the night and tell my insurance company it got stolen. You’re in Ibiza, live like it.

I work in accounting for high-net-worth individuals, and we once returned to work Monday morning to a voicemail from a client that said, plaintively, “I’m looking at my statement, and it looks like I bought a plane? Why would I buy a plane? I don’t think I bought a plane... Please call me back.”

(Spoiler: Said client…

I call bullshit because if he was drunk enough to buy a bus he would have been drunk enough to have lost his phone.

For christ’s sake, she was never his stepdaughter. Mia and Woody were never married.