It’s one of those stories that alot of kids read in grade school about getting a monkey’s paw but then it curses you and ruins your life and you would think the moral is maybe stop carrying around disembodied animal parts like trophies but I think it’s actually to be happy with what you have.

Ellie...Very important question. While you were at the expo, did anyone gift you a monkey’s paw? Perhaps in your gift bag next to some chia pudding?

Lisa Marie Presley is reportedly checking into rehab for drug and alcohol abuse.

I’m not dignifying this shit anymore, what is there left to do? It is clear we are divided and that the other side has no interest in disavowing their nominee. Therefore, I am hijacking this post. I ate a footlong and bag of chips two hours ago and I’m still hungry. I want nachos and hot dogs. Also, I’m not motivated…

She’s his spokesperson... ie, not just a surrogate but THE surrogate. Which makes it even worse.

hence working for Trump. perfectly aligned.

I’ve seen her several times and she’s awful.

Fun fact, she was arrested for shoplifting and was collecting unemployment benefits while working for the Ted Cruz senate campaign. Trump is only going to hire best people!

Nope. Sorry you absolute piece of shit, but there is absolutely no way, not one bit, to interpret what he said as anything else other than threatening potential violence against either Hillary or her SCOTUS picks.

I’ve seen this particular Trump surrogate on multiple news programs and I just can’t with her. She’s disrespectful and condescending (well, most of them are). I usually have to mute or fast forward when she’s talking. She literally adds nothing to the conversation.

Am I so old that 20-somethings look twelve to me, or does that 20-something actually look twelve?

That “tiny piece of debris” was a bullet, you dip.

An accident waiting to happen?

Had she had a gun, she would have been alive now, as guns defend people from other guns, duh!

“Live Gun Demonstration”

Those rules are great... if you’re a robot that can be programmed to always follow rules.

Only the good guys had guns, so I’m sure she’s actually fine.

Oh no you don’t, Howie Mandel. Not today.

I have lots of types, and that’s one of them. ;)

Whispery voice: ‘Jasmine or Basmati. Thoughts?”