I dream that all the women in this beautiful country will join hands on November 8 and emit the shrillest shrill that we ever did shrill.

I too like to announce my stalkerish wedding plans to a strange teenagers since they are known collectively as gentle and caring listeners.

Yes, I remember once being seated next to a complete stranger on a flight and deciding “I will marry this creepy circus peanut someday” and then turning to the other complete stranger across the aisle and telling them. Happens all the time actually.

I feel like I’m stuck in a dream whereby I’m trapped inside a Jerry Springer show.

I find it difficult to criticize Hillary for being human. I don’t know if anyone could weather probably the most core shaking experience in a marriage in the public eye without making some missteps or acting foolishly. I have other issues with her being a Washington Insider but to criticize her for how she handled her…

Really weird how Trump will say, in 2 consecutive sentences: “How dare you bring up something that happened way back in 2005?” and“Why aren’t you attacking Bill Clinton for something that happened in 1979?”

You’re right. I will certainly not be voting for this Bill Clinton person.

I forgot; who is running for president in 2016?

You know where I’m grey?

I have two on my head, which are recent acquisitions (I’m 41). The downstairs has been alight for quite some time now, which I find to be a very disconcerting turn of events. I always thought it would be the other way ‘round but apparently God wants to shine a light on my basement.

“We don’t care!” yelled supporters in the crowd, a real thing that happened and is not, in any way, a joke.

Man makes claims.
Women come forward to support his claims.
Man calls women liars.

One of the worst things about this election is learning exactly what percentage of Americans are total monsters.

“We don’t care!” yelled supporters in the crowd

That’s so beautiful I think I might cry. I mean, the elephant’s anus is Trump’s mouth. [weeps]

I’m simply running out of ways to say that he’s a horrible, horrible human being. This is exhausting.

The Economist’s new cover:

Damnitt! My money was on refusal to press charges.

Now, now. You know the title of Satan is reserved for Hillary. See also: demon, antichrist (or wait, was that Obama?), devil, etc.