Just reading about this makes me want to brush my teeth.

Sweeeeet.

Give the gift of Merry Maids, or some other service. Laundry is a bummer, too, so a gift of one of those services where you leave your dirty laundry on your front porch and it comes back clean would be awesome.

Ooooh. When my now deceased lab was a pup, she had that. It was...bad. I can’t imagine having that myself and trying to take care of/clean up after a sick dog.

Yeah, here too. I usually eagerly await the first appearance of Shlafly Pumpkin Ale in my local market. It was so early this year that it’s just...wrong. Who wants to drink a beer that’s heavy with squash and warm spices in August? Blarg.

Enjoy your clean bathroom! Nothing better than a sparkling bathroom...except maybe a sparkling kitchen...

As a Jezebel regular, all I can do is point out a glaring mistake. It’s 2017...Becca’s don’t drink Chardonnay. It’s a nice German Riesling. Or maybe an Alsatian Gewürztraminer.

It says something significant about this site that I’m really not sure if you’re joking or you’re serious.

But they don’t look ‘edgy and cool.’ They look tacky AF.

Yeah. You’re right. I forgot he and Dennis got tattoos.

That is weird. I got nothing to add, but, yeah, it’s weird...

He’s good enough for. That’s for sure.

You do know that a lot of white people don’t consider Kim Kardashian white, right? I mean, there’s certainly disagreement on this, and I have no idea how KK sees herself, but to put her up as someone who TS can’t ‘out-white’ is...odd. Even though you acknowledge KK is ‘ethnic white’ you don’t acknowledge the fact that…

Well, a fire is a much different situation. In that case, you can try to get everyone out and a safe distance from the building. In this case, even if you do get everyone out of the building safely, where do you go? The streets are going to be just as dangerous, if not more dangerous with moving water. I’m sure if…

As someone older than you, I can honestly say, ‘You’re only 40!’ Seriously, this is life telling you that you need a reboot and now is the time! And if the heart attack had ‘done it’s job’ he would have gotten everything, plus life insurance, and he would have gotten to be the poor grieving widower and not the…

Congratulations!

I didn’t think Michael Vic had a soul to sell.

I honestly never mash my tuna at all. In fact, I fold it very gently with the other ingredients to avoid smashing. I want to see and taste actual chunks of fish. Is that weird?

Wow. A hallway full of half-eaten burgers and wilted salads with soggy croutons. That’s some kinda dog heaven. Your girl is brilliant.

I can’t really speak to the legality of what he did, but I would be shocked if a jury convicts him of...well, anything. I don’t live in STL anymore, but from what I can tell, most people there are going to side with him, putting themselves in the driver’s shoes. This seems like a city that’s pretty fed up with…