I just don’t understand how people continue to think they can get away with this. I mean...how stupid can you be?

I went glacier hiking in Argentina once, and I couldn’t understand how everyone else in the group was having a good time and not focuseing on how easy it would be to fall right down into a bottomless pit of ice.

It absolutely looks like their heads belong on different bodies.

My grocery store stocks the Famous Chocolate Wafers in the ice cream section, next to the cones, hot fudge, etc. They are not stocked at all in the cookie aisle. Why? I have no idea.

Oh, yeah. But if it’s just me, it’s more likely to be the (less-than-a) pint and a spoon, while sitting on the sofa. Nobody else in my house likes coffee ice cream, so it’s all for me!

Hmmm...I wonder what the caffeine count is on a pint of Haagen Dazs Coffee? To me that’s the coffee ice cream by which all other coffee ice creams should be judged.

I was thinking he looks like he just smelled something really bad. But all of those things could go together.

Sounds like you’re describing the ‘Cool Girl’ of Gone Girl.

Ummm...I think your friend has problems much bigger than a guest potentially wearing the wrong shoes...

Oh, that’s perfect! Now you just need to somehow work in plastic surgery gone wrong and you’ve got yourself a winner.

I was absolutely obsessed with Stevie Nicks as a kid. I’d always loved music, but something about her spoke to me in that way that kids and tweens really need. That ‘Finally, an adult who could actually understand me and my deep, deep feelings.’ kind of thing.

That’s supposed to be “Tiny Homicide.” “Tiny Hoicide” is something entirely different.

Get the Sea Salt Caramel. It’s ridiculous.

My husband and I have a running joke...the tiny house trend will inevitably lead to the home owners falling into murderous rages. Then ID will have a new show... “Tiny Homicide.”

Once tried, always used. I keep a shaker of it meat my kitchen sink. It’s the best thing for cleaning my white porcelain sink, and it works wonders on stainless steel cookware and enameled cast iron.

Congratulations on your new pupper. She looks like a sweetie!

He’s hypnotizing me with his eyes. I feel compelled to take a nap.

I get that the spices would complement the flavor of the gin, but how do you actually use them in the drink? If you just toss them into the glass, wouldn’t you risk choking on a clove or a piece of star anise?

Praying for you. Honestly, bra-shopping is the worst.

That rug is eeeeeeverywhere.