You are hanging out with amateur drunks. The pros never let on how hammered they are.

Definitely looking forward to the 2-4 Rams panicking and starting him. Once he sits on his balls the stadium will be a quarter full and everyone will remember why LA doesn't have a football team.

I am squarely in the 27%. I read all day at work and did so much in law school I was burned out on pleasure reading. I bought a biography on Marx a few years back and am still on chapter 3.

The takes are too hot here. I like my hot takes to start a bit tingly and build. This is a ghost peppers purée in your eyeballs before the amuse-bouche arrives.

What are the odds if I start [insert subset of humans here] for Trump that I get on TV and onstage at a rally? It’s gotta be pretty good, right? The people who eat lunch at gas stations for trump needs to get the word out on American hot dogs having roller space taken over by lazy, criminal taquitos.

Pictured: How the field always looks for Josh Gordon. If you see 3 feet, drag the middle one.

App State pulling a Barry Horowitz.

These articles are just seasoning on the inevitable Cubs collapse on the playoffs. Never has a dish so succulent been braised and tenderized for so long. It will be glorious.

Jim Nantz still pollutes the air when he isn’t eating burned toast and washing Peyton’s balls, makes me doubt CBS on this one.

Why is Paul Feinbaum even being asked? If a football player said Picasso was a hack do we ask Feinbaum about art? Stick to the Es Eh See there Paul.

It always amazes me how people feel applying heat and smoke to meat is only possible in certain geographic area. KC, Memphis, Texas are all bbq assholes. You can make that shit anywhere.

Small price to pay to be a sports legend in J- Ville.

Why Drew’s team sucks even more.

Is being able to get a falafel at 3am really worth this?

So if we accept the “fact” police go through some undefined thing, is he saying this justifies the shooting of unarmed people? At the very least he appears to be implying that should not be criticized.

News is saying Goose Gossage savagely beat the kid for violating unwritten rules.

That fact you got that angry about a game says more than anything.

Every Pats fan favorite NFC team. Just about says it all.

I can’t imagine this ever changes. The owners would rather close up shop than conceed anything to the players. Owners appear to despise the players.

Surprised he hold these views considering Texas was still part of Mexico when he was in school.