"New LED technology?" This really is 1997, isn't it.

His insurance company was confused when he told them he'd just acquired fire insurance.

And the six planets' worth of stupid. Don't forget that.

I would argue that the top one is a 4WD, whereas the FF is AWD. What's the difference, you say? One involves a transfer case and usually a low range. And can, you know, actually do off-roadin' stuff.

I have far more respect for plumbers than I do anybody with an MBA. Plumbers are useful. The country needs more plumbers.

Is this the "Bonds Nobody Remembers" contest you have them at the top of? "No, Lazenby was the best!"

Hey, what's this red button on the bottom do?

I thought you were being sarcastic with the camera guy remark, but that was actually quite skillful to get it back in frame that quickly.

I'm gonna go ahead and throw this out there.

That will be very interesting on my work computer on which I can only use IE6!

I fix planes. Not one bit of that made sense.

Massive 75-Car Crash in Virginia Inevitable Result of Dipshit Americans Driving Like Dipshits

I work in the military, where you get sent an un-fillable PDF by email, print it out, fill it in with pen, and fax it. FAX IT.

That's not Cotton Candy, that's Cadmium Candy.

Four words:

Let this show you why, when driving on the road, it is always preferable to maneuver around an obstacle than to stop for it; it is far, far, far easier to change the direction of an object than to change its speed.

Lol, Christians talking about the Easter Bunny being a fictitious embodiment of all that is wrong with humans.

Two things:

I'm fairly certain you got the output powers of the cellphone and TSA scanner backwards. You show me a cellphone that emits 1,000mW, and I will show you somebody that will have the FCC knocking on their door really quickly. Also, that same somebody with cancer of the everything in the head and hand.

BITCHES DONT KNOW BOUT MY HEMORRHAGIC FEVER