There are worse jobs. Like being shot at for a living.

Only six runners, fail.

Marines always just think they're standing up straight. What they don't realize is that they're actually unconscious, having just fallen off a bar stool.

Not chromed. Polished. That's ~120 man-hours of work you're looking at there.

SHO intake. Because my God, that is the most gorgeous intake ever designed [for a car costing under $100,000]!

WHY IS THAT STUPID VIDEO SO SHAKY... oh wait.

Underwires out, Marino!

You need to replace your thermostat. They're designed to fail open, which means your engine never warms up.

I have a 2012 GT and it's a wonderful car. I love it, even if its Pirellis on the Brembo package are damn near useless this time of year.

The UAV I work on, the RQ-7B Shadow, has a 34hp Wankel engine as its source of power. It makes me happy.

The irony is that the trunk has zero-intrusion hinges supported by gas pistons... and the hood has a prop rod.

A man's car - his prized, beloved car [/truck/bike] getting covered in that tar crap... that's a valid reason to cry. No man-point deductions for that.

Meanwhile, in my Neanderthal, ancient-technology, cheap, Stupid-American Mustang...

Upside:

I have reason to believe you are actually Randall Munroe, and you're actively bashing your own comic just to be ironic.

In Other News: People In Maine Incredibly Stupid

The guy's just showing the two girls his penis.

Results: "Eat less celery."

Enhance.

This article lead-in had more similes in it than Jeremy Clarkson on speed.