You are a North American, and probably a male

Stuff like this really adds to the case that Willie Mays had the greatest catch ever. That ball went at least 460'. Dead center at The Polo Grounds was 483'.

From the desk behind us, Tom Ley stares.

Oh, her? Don't worry about her; she does this at every game. That's Peggie the Pirate, and she wanders into the dugout at every game to complain to Danny Murtaugh that "there's too many of those people on the team these days." Adorable, really.

This made me sad until I realized my life is dope and I do dope shit.

It looks like an optical illusion. The tesseract of side dishes, a pork-dimensional hyperfood. You enter Wendy's to eat this and exit from a gas station bathroom in a desert 4,000 miles away wondering which of your memories are real and which were implanted.

That's odd—I've watched the video several times, and I still can't hear the alleged obscenity; I just keep hearing Colin Cowherd and the producers of First Take having very loud, disturbing orgasms.

Knowing that a joke like that is coming from someone inside the group helps clarify intent and tone. If my dad makes a joking comment playing on some stereotype about Latin Americans, I know the joke isn't malicious (he's Puerto Rican, and besides I already know his political/cultural attitudes); in an extended way,…

god you're stupid

I've been measuring his skin from afar.

I love me some Tim Kawakami sass.

I wasn't going to post this, but Greg apparently creepshotted me and in general has organized his thoughts and arguments exactly like a middle school bully. So, the author, in his everyday wardrobe:

It implies he's had a "mental break", which colloquially means a mental/nervous breakdown (try Googling that phrase), when in reality he's being given a mental break.

Wow, what an anecdote. Take the rest of the week off, you deserve it

That's a bullshit argument.

Asked restaurant host: "God, did you hear about Robin Williams?"

Listen. In all seriousness. This is the funniest tweet I've ever seen in my life.

Peter King: God, did you hear about Robin Williams?