This is why people root against Chicago sports. At least why I root against Chicago sports. You had Michael Jordan win six championships in the 90’s, for that matter you had Michael Jordan. You had maybe the greatest team in NFL history a decade before that. The Blackhawks have won three of the last six Stanley cups,…

Fuck the Cubs. Fuck Andre Dawson. Fuck Wrigley Field. Fuck The Ivy. Fuck Harry Carey. Fuck Moises Alou. Fuck Joe Maddon. Fuck Sketchers Shoes. Fuck The Curse of the Billy Goat. Fuck Eric Stoltz. And Most Importantly Fuck You.

You’re right...it’d only be fair, cubs fans were nothing but graceful after their wins in the wild card game and NLDS, so we really should try to—PPPFFFFFFT BAHAHAHAHA oh man, sorry, couldn’t finish that one with a straight face

Yes

Never underestimate the pedantry of a lawyer. Parcing statements to spot issues no one asked about is how they stay busy at their billing stations.

Jackson and Lynch were racing down a straight public road when the accident happened

A quick drive that goes nowhere and ends in disaster? That sounds like the Seahawks offense to me.

People may chuckle, but a collapsed Colon is no laughing matter.

I don’t see the big deal. Most guys who get close enough to read those messages won’t remember them anyway.

I’m not sure if you understand how stealing works. Asking people to give you money in return for a very clearly defined product with an equally clearly defined limited life cycle is not, by any possible defitition of the word, stealing.

As a previous IS300 (manual) owner, no one should ever characterize that car as “fast.”

If this was done for footage for a movie shoot, which it likely was, then it’s on the studio’s dime.

Rob Ford’s Darryl Strawberry impression was much more spot-on.

Man it’s moments like this that almost make me feel sad the Texas governor cursed all Texas based baseball teams with a single tweet.

You think that's nice, Elvis Andrus gave away the entire game.

Great casting ideas, but I want them to play themselves! Edited: Forget it, I scrapped the script. Now it’s going to be a reality show.

If they were still around, I think Chris Farley and John Candy would be perfect for this.

My grandfather was a marine during WW2, and till the day he died he had nothing but praise for the M1 Garand, and he would talk about how it saved his life thanks to how reliable it was.

However, he said the ping was a huge downside. The enemy figured out the sound meant you had used your last bullet, so it could be a…