I think we’re far closer to solving nuclear fusion than convincing Karens to use the correct lane. 

If we properly educated American drivers about lane etiquette and, well, driving, there’s no reason our interstate highways couldn’t be a fast as the German Autobahn. They’re designed for aircraft landings and troop transport, after all.

What else are you going to do?  Work?  

Hey Drew. You’re the best, and good luck with the brain and everything.

Stealing pumpkins is a sport.

And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

They should post another one that says: “I am a former social media account manager.”

Good god, number 3 all day long. You can’t send Matt Gaetz to DC and then blame DC for Matt Gaetz. We didn’t want him here, you did. He’s YOUR melanoma.

They were also cheating because the running back is 33 years old and also Marshawn Lynch.

Now starting at Left Tackle...Pierre Delecto.

You need to add Floyd the barber at #2.

Floyds, ranked:

Tough to be an MLB pitching coach when you refuse to work with lefties.

The answer to this and other questions may be found in the article you just skipped past so you could fire off this dumb comment.

I wanted him to respect the game & respect me as a veteran player.

he only did it because adam lowry’s stupid mom forgot to bring the orange slices....AGAIN