Pictures or none of it happened.

I’ve never met a millennial who didn’t have one thumb up his ass while sucking on the other. They’re all truly damaged.

Romcom? Will you dumbasses quit making up words because anything with three syllables makes you piss yourself?

Never heard of this guy except as a business failure and bankruptcies across three states. No one remembers him playing baseball.

Don’t tell me I deserve this asshat as prez when me and 2.85 million more Americans voted for Hillary. China is already making Trump eat their dickcheese.

Instead of the unnecessary repetition, you could have prefaced the entire list with the phrase, “Did you figure it out when:”

When I was a teen in the 70s, we were too busy fucking, sucking, licking, and kicking (without fear of AIDS). We did our research in libraries. We actually composed and wrote papers, and we took mostly essay tests for exams. The internet, viz., led by Google, is one of humankind’s great achievements. Facebook,…

Written by an angry 9th grader after reading that loon, ayn rand?

Fuck you, Brett Gelman. When will types like you realize that the most underappreciated and underpaid job in America is being a responsible househusband! I pay the bills, raise the kids, maintenance and clean the house, yard, kitchen, clothes, and even windows, on top of cooking all week, all the while told by people…

Anyone else notice that Belicheat is looking a lot like Don Rickles these days? Coaching like him, too. Brady sucks. Gronk sucks. The whole goddamned Kraft family sucks chunks.

We all know the Cardinals will go back to curbstomping them in the NL Central next year. And then the Giants will bitch-slap the Cards in the NLCS.

Bill Murray, biggest goddamned douchebag since Donnie Trump. Cubs suck.

He smacks like a retarded 5-year old. Disgusting.

Why does deadspin call them dongs/dongers — did Mommie piss in your juice box again? Grow the fuck up. Oh, and Red Sox and Rangers blow chunks.

Baseball is the only sport where you can eat during the entire fucking game. I’ve seen fatassed Red Sox players chew sunflower seeds and eat soft tacos during at-bats!

Kaep is just another typical fucking millennial - too stupid to know how stupid he really is. You want real change, you go out and elect decades worth of progressives to Congress. Since the 1940s, there’s an entire Republican Party built to make sure nothing happens unless it fucks you over.

Military families are the biggest recipients of welfare in a wide variety of forms since WWII. Donald Trump stands in front of 13 flags; kid rock ejaculated on a flag onstage in Fremont in 2008. Fuck La Russa!

I love how Deadspin's content keeps being jacked by Univision. Pretty soon you guys will be relegated to writing tweets, likr #LoserDonald!

All NFL players with 3-letter names are goddamned pussies — cam, tom, tim, ben, eli, joe, sam, jay....

Delete your account already.