Turkish assassins also expressed relief that they wouldn’t have to sit through a Knicks-Wizards game. 

Well, that super fucking didn't work. 

Wouldn’t an unusual result be him passing his drug test?

Cleveland keeps finishing games with more points than the other team as well. I bet the league makes them forfeit some draft picks for that.

Counterpoint: The Browns stomping the Bengals needs to be a Christmas tradition.

I feel like the refs should've flagged that play.  I didn't notice any fouls, but Cleveland successfully running a play like that HAS to be against the rules somehow.

Dewey Toke and Howe 

guarding an addict, isolating an addict, trying to save an addict from themselves will not work. No Human power will relieve his addiction. The addict must want to change and be willing to go to any lengths to achieve that. Sadly, for many this never happens

The carpet should match the coach:

He has become my favorite Mike McCarthy in just the time it took me to read this blog!

Y’all laugh, but the email from that PR flack has raised awareness of the Irish Rugby Mike McCarthy with us, the high-class Deadspin readership, so... good job Sheila?

I really don’t understand why fans and the media are so negative about this team. Sure, it’s a bit of a rough patch but it’s a good collection of talent and smart coaches who just need to get things pointed in the right direction.

Dan Snyder really needs to have Zach Brown banned. 

Oh boy, I can’t wait to see the Dead Letters generated by this article.

And with that touchdown pass, Odell passes Nathan Peterman for 45th most in the NFL this season.

If most of the people who think they are going to heaven actually end up there, that is the last place I want to be. 

I’m not trying to logic you, Jordan my man, but it sounds like your mom had enough shit to take care of, without having to sweat answering the phone.
This is why you’ll always be the #2 son.

It’s the only cheap thing in town!

Cheap shots from Seattle players when things aren’t going their way? Seems unlikely.