Soft shelled clams are at risk to invasive green crabs. the line about eat crab to save crab is not accurate.

My first job was at a pet store. They have peanut butter dog treat bites that are basically the inside of a reeses without the chocolate. We frequently snacked on them. Aside from a strong desire to chase the mail man, i’m in perfectly good health.

You can always find a lawyer to represent you if you pay upfront.

You’d be murdered by a crowd of fanboys screaming pickle Rick quotes.

So I am a white man, in a predominantly white neighborhood, who runs an Airbnb. I have been fearful of this exact situation for a while now, especially given I’ve got at least 2 trump supporter neighbors. Thoughts on what a property owner does in this situation, aside from defending the renters repeatedly?

You do see the big banner at the bottom that says “free whitening system” right? I mean... that’s pretty racist.

What’s next, you want a room with no dead hookers? What am I a magician?

*looks left*

“Cheap out on the soap, but go to a gym that charges you $2k a year and probably has this guy as a trainer”

Hot Shots Part Deux is a treasure. There are so many amazing gags. There are plenty of terrible ones too, but here are my “gets me everytime” list:

Maybe he’s been playing the Rudy Drinking Game where you do a shot everytime he says 9/11, and try to last longer than 9 minutes 11 seconds.

That’s definitely one of his issues. Even in his WW1 podcast, he uses that heavyweight boxer analogy about 5 times too many.

see, i would think this is the rate for Babysitting, not being a nanny (which would be full time). You usually pay more for a babysitter because your giving them fewer hours and have irregular needs. If you’re watching someones kid 8-4 everyday, in my mind you aren’t a babysitter

In my mind, there is a distinction between a baby sitter and a Nanny. Babysitter is a part time, irregular working hours person who is getting paid a bit more, but working a lot less. A Nanny is working longer, regular hours and is paid less per hour.

Is this not Donald Glover addressing that exact situation for us?

Don’t worry, there is a happy ending. The kid actually got cancer.

The opposite. “But its far from the most unrealistic thing in these movies to have her survive.” 

He explicity leaves common alive, and says he can live by leaving the knife in and getting medical attention.

Says the guy buying a used car.

Can someone fill me in on what “beach breath” means as an insult?