The truth is, people don’t want small government. They want a big government that helps them hoard whatever they think is theirs.

For anyone who is still on speaking terms with a conservative family member, here’s how you approach this:

When Rosie O’Donnell plays Trump on SNL and gives him aneurysm it will stop.

Sanctuary cities are gonna be to a HUGE fight for this administration. Jerry Brown has already made his position clear.

It’s not politics. It’s money. Bitch literally bought herself a cabinet position like you or I or any other joe-shmoe would buy a cabinet. She’s so in over her head I’m waiting for the bitch to ask where the drawers are.

I am a public school teacher. I am sitting at my desk, which is in a classroom in a public school full of minorities and SpEd students, and I am weeping. I have about 9 minutes left on my lunch break, and I don’t know that I can pull it together in time. I am crushed, absolutely gutted. I am afraid for my students, I…

If Jamie Dornan knew Beyoncé was pregnant and he didn’t tell Dakota Johnson then he cannot pretend they are friends.

Don’t forget the part where they weren’t read their rights so they weren’t given any.

Because Native Americans. They probably are charging her because she is brown, and provides objective proof to what they are doing to silence dissent. 

“Torture absolutely works.” - Donald Trump

The fucking Cliven Bundy’s of the world can publicly flaunt their disregard for law and order (and not get arrested for an eternity,) yet when you go up against big oil, prepared to get lubed.

“I started this government thing and got all my friends to join me but then they kicked me out of the MAGA club. Where’s my daughter? I need comfort. No I meant the hot one.”

Honestly? I think so. No one likes to admin that they were conned by a drifter.

Yes! That bit about him having to cancel the Milwaukee event due to protests is really important. He’s stuck in a house that’s too big even for him, and it’s too quiet, and he can never shake the feeling that his friends are governmenting without him. He misses the circus.

In the United States, we’ve been primed to believe that wealth comes from hard work and intelligence. Since Trump is wealthy, this line of thought goes, he must be pretty smart. And, he’s saying the things his supporters “are all thinkings”. Isn’t that what we kept being told during the campaign? “He says what I’m…

So I’m surrounded at work by Trump supporters. They seem to be doubling down on their support, despite the numerous questionable moves.

This entire article was terrifying, but I’m not gonna lie: it felt GREAT to know what all the protests and marches and lawsuits have really gotten under his thin, evil skin.

I am hoping that before they left, the Obama’s installed in the White House three animatronic ghosts programmed to visit Trump on Christmas Eve.

Every word of that article is straight up amazing. Donald Trump is trapped in a Being There remake of his own making.

So it never occurred to anyone to ask the White House staff how to turn on the lights?