Yet, convicted felons can still run for federal office. Or state, depending.

This only reinforces my belief that he has no genitals. Under his trousers, his groin is as smooth and formless as a Ken doll.

I have relatives in Arizona. The only way he won’t be elected is if he announces he’s switched to the Democratic party. Racism? Sex crimes? Diddling minors? All he has to do is say Jesus forgave him and he’s gold.

I have my own wedding china. I have my mother’s wedding china. I have my everyday, chipped china. I have my everyday guest china. I have the china coffee set my grandmother gifted to my aunt back in the 1950s. I have what’s left of my mother’s crystal after my father knocked it over and broke most of it. And I have my…

It’s official; I am an old. I don’t know 80% of these people. Rooney Mara looks like what would happen if a Rembrandt portrait was copied by Hieronymus Bosch, then re-copied by an angsty teenager listening to death metal in his bedroom.

Rand Paul? I thought libertarians were all about liberty and minimal government control?

This. I had visions of my daughter taking her pacifier to college. A Barbie cash register from the Binky Fairy sent paccy into oblivion forever.

Alex Jones should be burned as a heretic.

I hope Khloe’s old lips have forgiven her new lips.

I wondered about that too. If he called his supervisor beforehand and said, hey we got a dead lady with a great rack, can I feel her up? and the supervisor said ok, is that authority? Are there bases for sexual contact with dead people? Like he goes to the local diner with his buds and says hey I got to second with a…

When we left our son, I bawled my eyes out. When we left our daughter, Mr Tooty bawled his eyes out. I think maybe because my daughter has always been so independent, I didn’t have the same feeling toward letting her out into the world.

Crime Hats, by Karen.

If I had a dime for every mansplainer, every incel, every oblivion on FB and Twitter who literally do not see why smacking a woman on the ass is a problem, that she should take it as a compliment, that she shouldn’t be offended, that it was a joke, that she’ll be wishing someone would smack her ass someday when she’s…

I had a man once tell me that all women are lesbians but only when they don’t have a man. His theory was that women just go down on each other because they have nothing better to do, you know, because the movie they rented is boring, or they are tired of knitting, or whatever.

Anyone believe ol’Phil was an exemplary, faithful consort? Even the royal apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I have met exactly one person who bought a Peleton. Predictably, she sold it less than a year later, so her aspirational video has a sad ending.

There are some vaccines that were created using cell lines from electively aborted fetuses in the 1970s. And some Zika virus vaccine research is being done with electively aborted infected fetuses-there in no current Zika vaccine though. The rest of that is total bullshit though.

I have an older acquaintance who has told us, in great detail, of the time Bill Cosby pushed her up against a wall at an event and tried to talk her into a date. She said no. Strangely she was fired from her job the next day and even more strangely was never able to secure a position in that industry again. This was…

November 23 is also the anniversary of the death of Jordan Davis, who was shot by Michael Dunn over loud music.  

I’m really hoping that, once TI’s daughter was in the examination room, the doctor said to her, hey your father is a control freak and he asked me to do a virginity check which is just stupid, but I don’t want you to get in trouble, so let’s just say I did and leave it at that. Here’s a magazine to read, wait 15…