People who don’t vote deserve patronizing lectures. This is a terrible take. 

Not remotely as funny as it sounded in your head.

What haven’t Eagles fans gone full asshole?

You forgot pennies. Nothing filled my adolescence with rage more than getting a litte baggy with 10 fucking pennies in it. Savages.

See? This is why we trusted the process...

Signing a free agent stud is not abandoning the process. It’s another logical step of the process.

I look forward to the President calling Ertogan to congratulate him.

They did. Which is why it’s okay to feel bad for him. By all accounts he was a good guy.

If I protest Elon Musk and not buy a Tesla that I can’t afford will he quit too? I am fully prepared to not buy a Tesla I cannot afford if it will help.

Can we start a Kickstarter for a Steadicam?

It could have been anyone. It could have been the Chinese. Or the fat guy in his basement. I am hearing that it could be anyone. We have so much hacking. So much hacking in the cyber, okay? This won’t happen next week. Hackers will have unbelievable respects. They’ll have so much respect. Isn’t my daughter fucking…

Hot take alert! A rookie QB making his first start in a playoff game against the top rated defense wasn’t very good! Whoa!

This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we will be lucky to live through it.

I move that this song be played prior, during, and after every Philadelphis sporting event until the end of time.

Premiere League is great fun. With the possible exception of Americans trying to sound British.

If you are over 12 there's never a good reason for bringing a glove to the game.