Pro tip: do yourself a favor on that “per side” front and skewer them before cooking. Makes the turn(s) quick and easy and if the skewer ends are resting on the edges of your cookware then you don’t have to worry about any sticking.

Five days. Five days till Mexican Pizza.

Six days.

I’ve had the most success with rapid chill. Get to the cold tub and run cold water over my head and face while rinsing my mouth with cold water. The coming sickness feels like things are just running out of control and the cold water seems to slow and settle everything down. I’ve not gone full cold shower, but…

...my exact car in my exact color.

2013 Smart Fortwo semi-auto trans - When it’s cold I’ll get wonking shifting. Even number or odd number gears only. (Strange since it isn’t a DDCT. ) Or possibly constant shift from 1 to 2 to 1 to 2 repeat ad infinitum or till I put it in manual. After any of these I’ll get the burger icon on the dash at restart. Have…

Except that isn’t the conversation the jury will be having. It will be, “The poor dead guy’s family needs something and we can make an evil insurance company pay for it. GUILTY!”

When I bought my Smart Fortwo from a young girl in college it was a very light blue color called “active blue” that had a kind of looked sorta mauvey in certain light to my jacked up eyes. On the back window was a sticker that was a tiara of rhinestones. And when I went to fill it up for the first time I discovered…

while the owner of the Jeep is named in the suit, that person won’t face any repercussions from the trial or judgment.

...thawing it overnight.

Instead, they must extend two fingers, a gesture considered less severe-looking by the powers that be.

Freely available in NE AR. I use Happy Meals as my portion control method. Frankly, as much as I might like it otherwise, I don’t really need to be eating any more than what comes in a Happy Meal. Never had a problem getting one.

First sentence in Exhibit A explains the alleged duplicity. A good oatmeal raisin and a chocolate chip are like 60's Corvettes and Skylarks - they could never be confused. 

Red Bull: Can we do a stunt, please?

You can justify these behaviors by saying you just don’t want to be rude, right? You can justify a lot of things that way, actually, and small put-ons can snowball into big ones.

Huh? Untoasted BLTs are a thing? I genuinely had no idea.

A SoundCloud page for those four songs still exists...

Bones to berries
Veins to vine
These tendon to trees
This blood to brine

The idea is that by restricting eating to designated times, it will decrease one’s caloric intake, which will ultimately lead to weight loss.

“Canned potatoes” makes me think of one of my favorite cheep meals from my bachelor days. (Any my current ‘wife is out of town’ days.) One can of diced potatoes, one can mushroom pieces and stems, one package of breakfast sausage. Cook up the sausage and spoon out most (not all) of the grease, dump in the potatoes and…