“How Ya Like Me Now?”

Chris Berman shouldn’t have been texting him, but I appreciate Theo’s sentiment.

“Look at this poor who is taking our picture.”

You mean Meg Trump.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

"which most American Christians observe by ordering fish sandwiches at their fast-food chain of choice."

This is one of the best parts of the Gospels, for the sheer weirdness among other things. Jesus appears to his apostles who don't recognize him, then don't believe it's him. They make him do tricks and show off his wounds to prove himself. One of the Gospel writers then relates a couple of Jesus' fun-filled…

Imprisoning them would cost the taxpayer even more money, just fine them for the cost of the operation, which probably gets into the 10s of thousands of dollars.

Paul McCartney gives absolutely zero fucks. I love how just about everyone in his vicinity shot him a weird look or two (I'm looking at you, Jamie Foxx), but not one person dared to side-eye Queen Bey. Off with their heads?

Jesus. Draw a dick on the pic to rise up to Perez Hilton standards. Who gives a flying fuck about celeb no-stories on Deadspin.