Show us the damage to the National Park Service.

“How Ya Like Me Now?”

Chris Berman shouldn’t have been texting him, but I appreciate Theo’s sentiment.

“Look at this poor who is taking our picture.”

You mean Meg Trump.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

This wasn’t much of a surprise, just because Juliette Lewis didn’t really seem to fit into the show. It didn’t seem like her kind of gig. Plus, in the first episode, she’s already helping the guy figure the joint out, and that just isn’t sustainable for a whole season (at least, not without some ridiculous…

Yeah. Apparently almonds take a huge amount of water to grow, and California produces a massive amount of almonds. That’s just one crop. Yikes.

In case anyone cares to actually UNDERSTAND the issue, residential water usage is a tiny part of a much larger problem. Focusing on the insignificant stuff is exactly what shifts attention from the real problem. California agriculture uses the vast majority of the water, 80%. Residential uses just 20%. Of that, only…

"which most American Christians observe by ordering fish sandwiches at their fast-food chain of choice."

This is one of the best parts of the Gospels, for the sheer weirdness among other things. Jesus appears to his apostles who don't recognize him, then don't believe it's him. They make him do tricks and show off his wounds to prove himself. One of the Gospel writers then relates a couple of Jesus' fun-filled…

Imprisoning them would cost the taxpayer even more money, just fine them for the cost of the operation, which probably gets into the 10s of thousands of dollars.

Ohh, that's the prison in A Clockwork Orange

Uh, do you not understand smuggling?

there is no prison on earth that doesn't have a smuggling problem. comes with the territory.

Prisoners sneak things into prisons all the time, including phones. Supplying a phone to an inmate is a felony. Don't assume staff is complicit; if the guy was smart enough to pull off this scam, he's more than smart enough to acquire and hide a phone.

More likely, he will forge a work order for a conduit to be run underneath the facility.

Paul McCartney gives absolutely zero fucks. I love how just about everyone in his vicinity shot him a weird look or two (I'm looking at you, Jamie Foxx), but not one person dared to side-eye Queen Bey. Off with their heads?