Your mom ain’t bad for an old broad.

Can I be a Werner Herzog gimmick account too?

“I look upon the seregetti and I do not see beauty, only nature in a state of incompletion.  This is a place that, if there is a god, was created in anger, the animals crying out in pain and agony HAKUNA MATATA!”

Winona Ryder is possibly the most beautiful woman in the world & now and forever my Generation X dreamgirl, so I can see that having a date with her would get one’s hopes up and you would be let down if it fell through. Still I thought Hopper a bit overly loud and hard to take at times this season, though not in ways…

Keep going... you’ve got a lot of character story left.

People seems to just gloss over that they were laughing in his face while he was putting himself out there emotionally with that letter that seemed to make everyone cry later.

Yeah I respectfully disagree with this completely. I found Hopper’s behavior to be a new father who would have struggled with a teenage daughter (as many do IRL) in even the best of circumstances, and their circumstances are hardly ideal.

Counterpoint.

This sizzling hot take brought to you by someone who’s never had a smug little teenage shit disrespect him in his own home. I’ve banned one of my son’s friends from my house for a year for lying to my face about washing his hands after he used the bathroom (I can hear the bathroom sink from the kitchen you little…

I went to a twitter feud the other night, and a hockey app broke out.

Stewart Zimmel.Since I have no way to contact you are you owe me nearly $6,000 I ask you to contact me about payment.

I’m trying to remember, but weren’t most of the terminators in the “SarahConnor Chronicles” female?

The really sad thing is that by definition, the people who do gender reveals are passing on their genes.

Wear too little, airlines throw a fit. Wear all your clothes to avoid paying a check bag fee, airlines throw a fit.

THANK YOU. Public toe exposure has no place in polite society outside of a beach. And don’t get me started on those “cute” pictures of nice scenery marred by someone’s gnarly digits that start showing up on Instagram around mid-May.

How would they do against a good (men’s) MLS team? A decent men’s national team?

Sandals are not acceptable footwear for men under any circumstances. And don’t come back with “Well Jesus wore them!” because you sure as shit aren’t raising anyone from the dead.

I can’t think about eating competitions without thinking of this gif. I would apologize but that’d be unamerican so deal with it.

Dear Penthouse,

Man I already answered your comment from yesterday.

If Harbour has no hope for Barb, we gotta be honest with ourselves: Barb was graphically eaten alive.