Perhaps, but I’m an adoptee, and recently, through McDNA, I’ve figured out the identity of my biological father. That’s something that’s pretty meaningful to me. I couldn’t care less about nationalism or any of that other shit.

Yeah, here in SC, masquerade balls aren’t entirely uncommon. Not on New year’s, at least. I’ve attended two over the last few years. Both times it’s been one of those events where you pay an upfront fee per couple and are allowed entry and a bottle of shitty champagne. Everybody dressed in formal attire and creepy…

Really? What about truth or dare? Those games facilitated the bulk of my first sexual encounters. For instance, my first kiss was during a round of spin the bottle, with a girl named Brandy from the neighboring trailer park. And during a game of truth or dare in the back of a church van on the way to a Furman football…

We had prom/homecoming queens and kings, but no one really gave a shit, other than parents.

You have to gag yourself until you let out a mighty belch. Or vomit. I’m not even joking. I discovered this trick after an unusually prolonged, painful bout of hiccups brought on by drinking. I tried all the typical remedies, and nothing worked. I got so frustrated that I was karate chopping my throat and choking…

DC, in the late ‘90s/early 2000s, was the only US city to top the per capita murder rate of my small, SC hometown. At least that’s how I remember it.

I lied about the guy in the middle. He very well may be a professional magician, but I have no evidence to corroborate that allegation. Truth is, I have no idea who he is or what he does nowadays. I just didn’t want to disappoint you again :-(

Serious question: Do you really believe that? That it’s within everyone’s power to be a genius? Because I’ve known many folks who, no matter how hard they tried, could never be geniuses. I’ve also known folks who didn’t give a shit about anything, education included, yet were still more intelligent than 99% of the…

Curiosity got the better of me, and I had to look up Mr Hot Topic. His name is Les Hall, and it seems he’s a bit more accomplished than Eddie (depending on your definition of “accomplished”)

Nope. Jed is on the left. And he’s always had that same stupid hairstyle.

Before that, they were called Sugardaddy Superstar...

I’ve had similar experiences with the lead singer (Ed? Fred?) from Crossfade. He’d come around the bar at which I worked, trying to big-time me and my security personnel, thinking he could do whatever he wanted. Like any of us gave a shit about fucking Crossfade (three of us have Black Flag Tattos [walking…

Like a mustache. Presumably.

I miss the old Rohto drops. It felt like pouring Rumple Minze straight into your eyes, yes, but the searing pain just let you know it was working. The new drops don’t feel like they’re really getting in there and cleaning the grime off the corneas. And now my eyes always feel dirty.

Yeah, I’m with you. I’ve been exposed to, and personally involved in, the grisly truth of meat—much to my chagrin—and touching raw chicken or pork still grosses me out. Turns out, making me, as a 10-year-old, execute hogs with a .22 didn’t do much to stave off an aversion to handling raw meat as an adult.

He absolutely will, and, with every mention of his name, I will hate him that much more. I’m not saying it’s justified—or that it’s in any sense healthy—but I have never felt such an intense hatred for any public figure as I do for... that for that guy. His NBA tenure, and the sloppy, never-ending blowjob he gets from…

Also, one of my favorite things about Ermey was that he was in an MWSG. Swing with the Wing!

His D.I. in Full Metal Jacket was absolutely spot-on. I watched that movie so many times in the few months leading up to my date with Parris Island, and Ermey’s portrayal of a Senior DI always cracked me up, while also scaring the shit out of me.

Man, I was reading your initial posts in this thread and was of the opinion that you were willfully being an asshole. I was all ready to rip into you (feeble, though, my attempts would’ve been), but it seems pretty apparent that I was wrong. You don’t seem like an asshole at all, really. My apologies for jumping to…

I’ve never played a MOBA, I never will play a MOBA, and this is the first time I’ve ever heard of SMNC (truth be told, I’m not entirely certain what those letters even stand for). But goddamn! Megabeth, as a name, is brilliant and inspirational and absolutely wonderful & perfect.