Also, any sort of reheated chicken takes on a strange, godawful taste. I’d rather just eat it cold.

It’s more likely bird shot, not buck shot. That doesn’t necessarily make it any better. Hell, it may make it worse. There’d be fewer buck shot in the meat, and, since they’re considerably larger, it would be easier to find them before biting one and breaking a tooth.

I got it as a gift from a childhood friend’s wife who worked at the book’s publisher. In return, I bought her some long-forgotten satirical book about Southern culture that I thought she might appreciate, or at least find some humor in. It didn’t work. She did not appreciate it all, and acted pretty snotty about it.…

I read “Infinite Jest.” Also, my life is a lie.

Jesus Christ! I loved that book, but to this day, you’re the only other human I’ve ever encountered whose also read it (I do live in SC, after all). I’d all but forgotten about it, honestly. ”The Little Friend” would’ve probably been a disappointment to me were it not for my undying (though dormant) love for “The…

Dr. Nassar?

Please continue... I’m already rock-hard, and I’m counting on you to finish me off. You can’t leave me in this state, Mikey baby....

I’ve never had any desire to read the book (honestly, I didn’t even know it started as a book), but, after your synopsis, I’m buying it tonight.

An Isle of Dogs sounds like a Dante-esque inner circle of hell. I’d rather spend an eternity boiling in oil alongside murderers and rapists and kiddie diddlers than spend a month with a drooling pack of needy, stinky, shit-eating dumbfuck dogs who couldn’t survive a week without human handouts.

That was the best scene in the movie, and one of the only two scenes I remember. The other being, “why don’t you make like a tree and...” *Stuttering* “... and get the fuck outta here!?”

This has always been my favorite:

I swear to God this actually happened to me, maybe 18 years ago. And that was just the smaller snake. He also had me stay and watch his albino, Burmese python eat a dead chicken. On top of all that, I also bought a pitbull along with my 8-ball.

I remember years ago seeing TV commercials for some brand of dogfood consisting of slices of supposedly-real beef in a thick, brown gravy. Every time I saw that spot, it made me salivate and I wanted so badly to try that delicious-looking dogfood. I didn’t have a dog, however, and it felt wrong to buy dogfood solely…

It’s real. My girlfriend at the time caught me and took a pic, posting it on Facebook in an effort to shame me into not drinking so much every night (it didn’t work).

I don’t remember there being much smell at all, but, remember, I was pretty drunk.

It was very bland. Tasted like it didn’t contain one grain of salt (if you’re curious, yes, I added a lot of salt). The texture of the chicken wasn’t great, but it was better than the “chicken” in cheap Banquet pot pies.

I’ve been in love with Ashley Feinberg for many years now (oh how I miss her on this network of sites), but that’s beside the point. That dolphin fucker’s in-depth description of fucking dolphins has given me so much joy over the years (and caused much of my family and friends to label me as a degenerate for sharing…

Absolutely. Just the sight of someone slathering wings in ranch is enough to make me gag. I briefly dated a girl who liked ranch on nearly everything. Briefly...

Stranger things have happened. I once bought my cats some cans of Fancy Feast gourmet chicken something-or-other. It looked so delicious, with the broth, white-meat chicken, and peas & carrots. Eventually, after a drunken work night at a bar, I came home and cracked open a can for myself. It didn’t taste nearly as…

I was on a jobsite recently wherein there were a bunch of Canada geese. One goose had a gimpy leg, and my underlings thought it hilarious to shit-talk and taunt this poor creature. I immediately fired them all, and let it be known amongst the ranks that the mistreatment of any of our avian brethren will not be…