Stugotz?

I’ve been in the situation several times where a guy has escalated a confrontation by shoving me, to which I’ve responded by punching him in the face. For this reaction, I’ve been accused of throwing a sucker-punch more than once, but I’ve always disagreed. We were face to face and the guys got physical with me first,…

There used to be a band here, in Columbia, SC, named Confederate Fag. Proudly flew a Confederate flag with a pink and purple color scheme. Boy, did they ever piss off the good-ol’-boy, cousin-fucker types. I miss them so badly.

Sometime in 2007 I developed a semi-serious (possibly seriously-serious) addiction to Rx speed. Over the years I’ve tried many times to kick it, but I’ve always failed.

I only ever lurked on the old AV Club, and I enjoyed it the majority of the time— comments included—for several years. But you motherfuckers were so deeply in love with the pun threads that other discussions were too often steamrolled and buried beneath tons of clever-but-not-necessarily-funny-or-engaging wordplay.

**disregard. Needlessly confrontational and accusatory.

So it wasn’t some fucked up fever dream of my own design! Hooray for small victories.

Didn’t Todd Haley and his clan take shits all over a rental property somewhere in middle America... Like, he and his family stole some of the stuff, broke some of the other stuff, and then shat— defecated, literally—upon all the remaining stuff? That happened, right...? God, I hope my mind didn’t just generate that…

Her character has always been deeply irritating and unlikable to me, and I kinda figured she’d be every bit as loathsome as the character she plays. I know that line of thinking is supremely-idiotic, but it’s one of things I can’t help doing on occasion.

In an excerpt I read last night, one of the sources in the book (can’t remember who it was, exactly) declared that Trump is “functionally illiterate.” Or maybe they said he was only “marginally literate.” Either way, you probably get my point.

I was just about to ask why, in so many articles I read about this type of thing, all the obnoxious YouTube guys look so similar to each other.

Oh, my mom knows the truth. She’s just fucking with me and seeing if I’ll say it aloud in front of her (I will not).

I can’t speak for her immediate family, but I don’t think any of us in the extended family ever believed it. I’ve asked my mom several times over the years if she really buys the slip-and-fall explanation, and she’s always towed that line, in a way, with deadpan replies like, “Well, explain to me how else it got up…

Yeah, it really happened. Honest. The only context I can give is my cousin, along with her three brothers, grew up in a weird, sheltered, fundamentalist Christian household. Everything, from Sesame Street to Little Golden Books, was satanic in their eyes.

I cringed pretty hard at this one as well. I personally experienced a very, very mild version of this (with a Qtip), and it was brutal.

My cousin had to get a can of Barbasol* surgically removed from her anus, and she had the same excuse. So... Barbasol?

I somehow just listened to that whole thing, and now I feel super weird and stressed out. Very strange.

I’ve spent several minutes trying to figure out the meaning of this post as well. Is it a cunnilingus joke, maybe?

It’s not entirely a waste of time. In fact, I’ve had better luck on bumble than anywhere else. I think I’ve met 6 women through Bumble in the last couple months. And I can be a seriously awkward dude.

We got rid of the mini-bottle law at least a decade ago, and I’m still not sure how I feel about that. It was nice to know you weren’t getting short-poured, but any mixed drink containing more than one liquor was stupid expensive.