I will probably even pick it up on vinyl, just to get that true 90's sound. Or cassette, to get that true 90's frustration.

Ezra Miller is really Ray Manzarek.

I was the only person to laugh in the theater when James Remar air choked Michelle Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath.

Wasn’t that Being John Malkovich?

Yeah. She would have been Jessica Biel’s Laura from The Rules of Attraction.

Jersey Girl is fucking fantastic. When Affleck loses his shit on his kid is an underappreciated moment. Like 20 years later, Breeders is getting the love Smith deserves.

Oh shit, I took you out!

Well that is because Braveheart is straight bullshit and a character assassination of Robert the Bruce. Wallace was a traitor to the Highlands and working with the British, not Robert.

I thought Rotton went full MAGA.

His autobiography was so freaking good. The Pistols and PIL were so freaking good. How is Lydon such a freaking pissy lump of dough?

We Should Talk About Coran

And when they reboot “How I Met Your Mother” again, the R2D2 joke will seem fresh, again.

If either of my kids want to be an actor like I did, I’m shipping them overseas to be “White American” for 4 years rather than paying for college.

Do you have your receipt?

Regan, the soon to be treasonous ex-governor of an area that contained San Fransisco, had already spent his first term ignoring his son could die from a “gay cancer” spread by man on man boning.

Saucy

And if they would put an 8th of that in their seats they would be a luxury brand rather than someone who makes Toyota’s interiors feel like The Virgin Mary’s bosom.

And in 10 it will be faded and grey.

And cue the Ben Folds

Or the 7 cars a year they replace due to 1 unmatched tire is worth more than the bad press.