Smiley face with the mouth stapled shut.

We will be fine.

Funny how that never stopped the war on drugs.

This is Jalopnik, we’re reasonable.

Except I'll bet that dink supports tort reform.

You really seem to push the “She deserved it” angle.

This is the best way I have seen it put.

I did too. Then I went.

The Devil Wears Prada and Death Becomes Her.

I use “I have no responsibilities here” daily.

That the world wasn’t ready for The World According to Garp or The Razors Edge cost us some amazing nuanced performances by Williams and Bill Murray in the 80s and 90s.

No, Williams had a reputation for paying out the ass for jokes he got caught lifting.

And abandoned fathers.

All the little dude wanted was a piece of cheese.

That sound you hear is the applause of a nation of regular sized hands.

I’m sure.

It would have been a steal at twice that.

Now how do you slap a bike on the ass to make it drive off?

Shit, say it one more time for those in the back.

Fucking brilliant headline.