GAH! The 90s Cruiser looks like an albino tick who fed until the host died.

I’m cheap with over an acre to cut and have a push mower.

All of this is truth.

Have you tried cutting down on the caffine and trying Vitamin B drinks?

Summer is coming. A nice stout with some vanilla ice cream for after the kids go to sleep.

This is to unlock a cheat. If you get erect and let the sales staff play ring toss with the waiting room doughnuts for 5 minutes, they throw in the seats for free.

11 or 12. But I’m white.

David Tracy, rusted Jeeps, and Baby Yoda. Make it happen, useful nerds.

An EC/WC war between Miami and Beverly Hills plastic surgeons is the Hell we all deserve.

The Doors came out when I was in 7th grade.

He just became my favorite performer ever.

If no one wanted to see Van der Beek as Diplo, I don’t understand why anyone thought this had a shot.

Most of those deaths fall into the“Hey y’all, watch this” category.

You are right, but there is a difference between cost and value.

The South is still the gold standard for passive aggression. At any given moment there is a 50/50 chance the person you are talking to wishes you were dead.

My wife and I are in a similar situation. I’m 6'1" and she’s 5'8" but we have the same 31" inseam.

People are becoming rich off of pillows, and stools for taking a dump.

Duffman, reads the room!

Yes. I’m Bruce Willis.

Dude, I live in Maryland. Grew up in NC. Summered in Newton MA Spent one summer in Manhattan. Went to Brooklyn twice and have no idea which part is Williamsburg. And have never seen Crooklyn.