Sploosh!

I just about dropped the boy from laughing.

I think if you are rolling in this you are okay with the gamble.

Post Mallone is: Beef Masterson!

I never realized people who flew on planes felt like they needed to be a protected class.

“Welcome to Jalopnik, where the proliferation of people moving about the world is seen as a very very bad thing.”

That is what teachers and education staff have been conscripted to do. Notice all of you are freaking the fuck out now that you spend more than 2 hours a day with your kids.

So, not only is the person holding the phone probably his wife, he is married to Emily Blunt’s sister. He met his now wife at Blunt’s wedding, because they were good friends from shooting The Devil Wears Prada (which as a straight guy is still one of my favorite movies).

Honestly, that’s what scares me. Watching NC go from bluish purple to red because of that guy was terrifying.

This is damning with false praise. I still wish Ben Jealous would have won.

I love Baltimore!

Actually written by Huey Lewis.

That movie is so damn good they got Kevin Costner to genuinely smile and show amazing energy in it. Remember when he acted with more than stoicism or a wry grin?

How anyone could think the Bobcats were the better option...

The past 2 drafts for the Hornets have been solid. New GM and coach are turning the franchise around.

I remember that episode of Hoarders where Jesus couldn't get to certain rooms in his own house.

These are the same buttmunches who called me antisocial as a punk kid. They are literally trying to destroy society.

What about when their boat flips and rescue workers have to go out and save them?

It does happen.

I suggest we, as US Americans, get rid of every derogatory, emasculating, mentality insulting phrase we can come up with and replace them with Trump.