I’ll add that I would never hand someone their ass for having issue with a comment of mine. I try to be funny when possible, as some stories are too horrible to comment otherwise than in some form of “this is terrible” but if I overstepped the line, everyone should be free to smack my hand and say ‘bad!’again, I take…

You guys are really quick to shut down the dialogue of women of color.

I’ve gathered you’re quite popular around here, so I’m probably going to get my ass handed to me for even asking you this, BUT:

Them? They’re engaged!

he does come across all grimy (get your shots!), but I have a soft spot for him due to how dedicated he is to his disabled son and how many roles he’s turned down in order to be a dad!

Julia was a ridiculously wealthy person from the day she was born due to family money, and all you hear about her is what a kind, good hearted, hard working woman she is, and how respected she is for earning her comedy cred on her own, without the influence of her father’s money. She is an icon of comedy, and proof…

Or just pair them with a Paula Deen shirt so you don’t even need to worry about your front privates!

You know who’s really winning in all of this? Kendall. She’s all “Hey guys I”m a hot famous model who doesn’t have to date my sisters boyfriends exes K thanx Bye”

pls add this to tweet beat it’s my fave of yesterday thank u bobby

I’m not sure if anyone has checked Netflix today, but their April Fools day joke made me giggle:

i miss dating subtractions in newspapers

if ur pushin 40 u should talk to women my pal

Fuck off, this was great. Both sites.

This is not really the sort of post you’re looking for but I wrote it back when I was with Mental_Floss and it’s good for reliving the movie (which is easily the best baseball movie out there) http://mentalfloss.com/article/56212/…

I had hookworms as a kid. Tiny, white, wiggly worms that live in your butthole. I saw one sticking out of my poop one day and told my mom, who thought I was just being paranoid and told me to ignore it. Flash forward a few weeks later and it feels like my ass is full of broken glass. I go to take a dump, thinking it…

Finally I get to share my story publicly in a setting where people WANT to hear it!!! In December 2014, I started having really massive stomach cramps. I thought perhaps I had eaten something bad, or was PMSing, but these cramps were constant. I couldn’t sleep, I stopped being able to eat. I couldn’t stand up…

Barry, Barry, Barry, The horrors the female body is capable of know no bounds. This is going to be a shit show of epic proportions. I still have nightmares after reading the thing about the sunflower seeds on Jezebel. Us dudes just can't keep up with them. No Funbag poop stories have ever come close.